I'm kicking the dirt off this one horse town in two weeks and leaping off to LA. I'm heading to a city with a population 20,000% larger than the one I live in now. =] I think it's also safe to say it's 20,000% more liberal, diverse, and engaging as well. It's a little bit unreal when I think about it too hard.
I happen to be very thrilled with the inclusion of a boy in this mix, too. (If you need some filling in, I made a boyfriend when I visited LA for orientation.) He really is one of the greatest people I've ever met, and he brings so much joy to my life. I've just spent so much time over the past four years of high school simply being sad; I'm ready to begin looking forward instead of behind me and rejoice in what a wonderful form my life has taken, with this guy, this school, and this city.
One thing I do worry about, though, is balancing my relationship with the other parts of my life. I've wanted a boyfriend for so long and this guy is so great - it's only natural that he's already taken on a great significance in my life. I think about him a ton, especially since for the moment I'm living in the same boring old house that I have been for the past 18 years. I feel kind of guilty sometimes about how much I think about him, particularly now, because his internet's been down for the past three days and he's traveling without a phone, so he's been incommunicado, and I've been missing him REALLY bad. I worry that if I can't even go a couple days sans boy without freaking out, am I too clingy? Am I focusing too much on the relationship aspect of my life and not enough on others? Things will hopefully be better when I'm at school and busy studying and doing extracurriculars, but even then, the only boyfriend I've had before him was a guy I dated over the summer, so I have no idea what it's like pursuing studies and a lad at the same time and balancing it all out. Not to mention making an entirely new set of friends...oy.
I'll be encountering A LOT of new experiences in college and in LA in addition to this one, though, and as much as my perfectionist self hates to admit it, I won't be able to perform all of these new tasks flawlessly. I'm going to stumble and trip and maybe even fall, but I'll be learning, and things will settle in their own due course. Even with these possible relationshippy issues, I really do believe that this guy and I like each other enough that if one or both of us slip up, we'll be waiting in the aftermath with open arms. Here's to letting go! *clink*