I should probably be sleeping now. Since it is 1.30am and I'm in work tomorrow. But I have hardly spoken two words to anyone all day and I have all these thoughts rattling around my head that will have to go somewhere so I can go to sleep.
Well I went out again last night for another crazy drinking night. The evening started off badly and I had this strange feeling that I should probably just stay home, but alas I ignored it. The club I was going to opened at 10.30pm, but due to the fact that I was working I did not get there until about midnight. I went in and found my friends, all of whom were happily drinking away. So I went to the bar and bought myself a couple of drinks. I got chatting and dancing with some people. Then there was a group of people there that I vaguely know from a group I joined. The girl I like was there. I tried talking to her like a normal person. But I get so damn nervous. Fast foward a little bit and I go to my bag which I am wearing, to take my purse out, only to find it has been robbed.
I knew once it wasn't there that it had been stolen because I remembered putting it in there and the bag was sealed. So myself and my friends begin searching everywhere for it anyways, but with no luck at all. So at this point I was feeling fairly upset, so just to add to my misery I see the girl I like kissing this other girl I know. It kind of felt like a double kick in the stomach, even though I am clearly aware that this other girl is not into me anyways.
Out of the group of friends I was with only one of the guys was sober enough to realise how upset I was about it. He was really nice and comforting to me, but I was completly broke since my purse contained my bank card and all my money. I didn't even have a housekey to get into my house, and my friend did not have enough money to pay for a taxi. So randomly and crazy enough, myself and said friend ended up staying in this guys house who is friends of a friend of a friend. It was a little dangerous considering I vaguely know this guy, but it turned out ok and he is actually a lovely guy.
I just seem to always end up drawing the short straw. Why did it have to be my bag that got robbed, why did it have to be the girl I like kissing someone else.
It's not the first time my whole night has gone completely arseways while everyone else is getting along great. At pride I had to be the person that got pushed and fell and got knocked out and spent the night in hospital with unjuries I'm still recovering from.
I think I am done now. I am finsihed being out there and being all social and stuff. I am tired of everything and everyone. I wish I could just wipe my life clean and start afresh or move away somewhere new.
Sadly I can't but I think I just want to cut myself off from everyone for a while. I think I need some me time to clear my head and sort myself out.