It's a good song by U2, but that isn't the point. Every year pride is celebrated at the end of June in my town. I went last year with my mom. And two years before that with my friend (she denies it at school, but I know she is, we've talked about it, k?) and I'm thinking of going this year. This year has been really hard for me as far as my sexuality, I've been really confused. And I haven't denied that being gay is who I am (that I feel really good about), but I know that I won't always have that opportunity to be so... out. My family for the most part doesn't care. I brought my first serious gf to my grandfather's 80th birthday party, and everyone was so happy that I was happy. But my mom's parents aren't so liberal and they don't take the view of "If you're happy I'm happy" which makes me sad. They don't really care if I'm happy. They want me to be with a guy. They've been trying to set me up with guys for a long time, years. And I'm seventeen. I don't know about anyone else's views on dating, but I'm actually pretty old fashion. I don't think that middle schoolers should date and call it dating. It kind of weirds me out.

But I digress. I'm going to talk to my best friend about going to Pride with me. She's never been. She herself is not gay, but she is a great advocate. Actually, she's been harassed about being gay more that I have and she's not. I feel such a disconnect to the gay community. Not only because most of my friends are straight, but most of them can't relate to the problems that I have that center around being gay. I think that has to do with my friends (including myself) are all pretty privileged. I need someone that has been there, done that and seen the other side. Of harassment, of high school, of family. I don't get harassed a lot, but some people when they find out I'm gay, it's like I'm an alien or something. They don't know what to say or what to think. They just stare. It doesn't change anything about me.

Also I was at the mall today. And these three women, okay they were like in the early twenties saw that shirt at Hot Topic that says "Lez B Friends" and started shrieking and telling their friends they should buy it, along with the rainbow tutu, and rainbow belt over there. And saying stupid shit about lesbians. My mom and I walked past them on our way out, my mom said that she wanted to hurt them (she can be kind of violent) because it was offensive, and it was. I don't like that people don't realize that being gay isn't always fun, that some people get harassed on a daily basis for being gay.

Also I miss my best friend. So after I left Hot Topic I went and got coffee from Starbucks. And because I was upset, I did something kind of foolish. I got four shots of espresso in my coffee. And I have to be up early tomorrow to work on the house. *sigh* Oh, well.