i don't know why, but every time i'm pissed at myself, or disappointed, or think that i've screwed up, that phrase comes to mind.

"i'm a liar and a theif"

i don't even know what it means, really. i don't know if i heard it somewhere, or if i made it up. it just...i dunno. fits?

i'm so, so tired.

gotta be up in a few hours to get ready to go out with ET.

yup, ET. long story, that. well, this particular segment is rather short. i called him, we chatted, he suggested coffee. end of chapter. thingy. whatever.

so i'm seeing him this afternoon. *gulp* joy? no idea. i'm so fucking confused about it.

i'm so ready to be out of here. so ready to be away, and in australia, and with J (who i really should start calling Jd cause all my other "J"s have second letters. but hten again, she's specialer than all of htem, so...and i'm special too for saying specialer...don't ask).

i'm so tired. i think i need to sleep, but i don't know if i can without hearing her. how lame is that? i can't fall asleep without hearing my girlfriend breathing......

shit. i'm so close to crying. i KNOW it's cause i forgot to take my pill, and my hormones are totally fucked right now, and i KNOW it's my own fault, and that this is how i get on PMS, which is why i'm ON the pill in the first place, but i cna't help myself!

bedtime.

i love you, J. i love you so, so much. more than i can say in words or presents or hidden meanings. more than all the friends in the world, more than all the parties or midnight drives. more than anything else i have in this world. i love you.

BD