I feel a lot better since writing my journal a couple of days back. Too many things were still too raw, I think, to allow me to write anything more or less than I did.
I declared I was stepping off of the gay scene, and away from everything I had craved to have for so long, just because a girl I had never told I liked, slept with someone else. That is what it boiled down to. I can't blame the entire the gay scene for this. This could have happened had I been straight, and out at a straight party. It was just one of those things. I need to take a few days off from things, dust myself off, and then get back to things. Keep searching, keep living, keep learning, keep trying.