I'm sitting here listening to First time by IMX and thinking about the first time I kissed a girl. She was like 5 years older then me, Light skin with these gorgeous light brown eyes. We were downtown and i was soo nervous that some one that knew my dad would see me. It was still just a wonderful kiss. It was like the world stopped. I mean, It wasnt like i was in love with her or anything even close to that. Me and the girl only dated for like 4 days. But... after years of dating random guys just to see if y ou can be "normal", Doing something that you feel right about should give you that amazing feeling.
The first time I relized that I liked girls? Second grade. In gym class, Her name was Christina. She was wearing these baby blue shorts and I knew that I looked at her in a way that i wasnt supposed to. I've been attracted to girls my whole life. I just dateed guys to do what I thought good girls did.
But now.... Its like a whole different game. I'm madly in love with some one. I spend all the time i can with her because I cant see her everyday. But when we're together i feel unstoppable. Yea yea i know, its overrated. but i love being able to share her time. We just kinda go good together. BUt we're not dating.
So i'm sittinq here wondering if now is the time a tell my dad. I mean... he asked. I just asked him if he tought i was gay. He said no and we left it at that. But I know that i have people that love me no matter what I do. There are other things that are more important in my life than explaining to my Father why I like females and not men, how long i've been like this, why i chose to be this way, etc.
I'm gay because thats who I am. Its just me. No matter which girl... it feels right to be with her. and not a "him"