Okay so, I know I don't go on here very often, and I hope my random just posting on my journal but not on the boards doesn't piss anyone off. I just have very limited time where I am able to go on here, but over the next few days I'll probably be posting more on my journal because as I mentioned in my previous journal entry, my mother is gone away.

Something's kinda pissing me off right now. So, I'm at church and talking to this guy ("guy 1") who knows I'm a lesbian and I say "so this chick keeps harassing me to work at (name of resturaunt)" That was a bit of an exageration for humour purposes, as she only asked me once to apply, to which I replied I would closer to the summer. But the guy I was talking to replied with "girls don't call other girls chicks". I replied to that statement with "well, girls like me DO" and he kept repeating himself saying "girls don't call other girls chicks". Um. Fuck you. I'll have you know that this chick is one SEXY SUNUVABITCH!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!! I have mixed reactions from those I know from church who know I like girls. One of my other churchy friends isn't accepting of homosexual sex but he laughs when I make homosexual jokes (I made a remark last week to him after seeing guy 1's fiancee acting like a whiney bitch and I said "Gee, I should really reconsider this whole woman thing" and he LAUGHED cuz that was a JOOKKEE) Holy shit fuck though, seriously, that remark from guy 1 didn't bother me before, but it's kinda getting to me right now, fuck, I guess that is one of those moments where I know I'm a lesbian, right? Hahha!

I really want a girlfriend right now, like REALLY want one. I'm getting really jealous of all my fellow queer teens that I see who are able to be out of the closet and have people around them (especially their parents) be okay with it. I would get kicked out by my mother if I got a girlfriend, or if she heard from someone that I said I liked girls.

So, I'm talking to my therapist and she makes a few stupid remarks that piss me off. She says that I am attracted to a certain girl for the "wrong reasons" ("it's because she's in the GSA and has a certain amount of confidence that you don't have that you are attracted to her") and that "with most lesbian couples, there is always a more manly looking woman who is typically more dominant in the relationship and the other woman is more feminine looking. Uhm, fuck you. I'm not "manly looking" and I am not attracted to women who look "manly looking". I just have a crush on her, she didn't need to confuse the hell outta me by ranting about how I'm attracted to her for "the wrong reasons". Fuck you, she's a cute girl who is bubbley and nice. That's it.

Has anyone heard of gdprophetxvii on youtube? I implore you to watch some (or maybe ALL) of his videos. He is a HOLARIOUS gay man and speaks on topics mainly pertaining to GLBT stuff. Go watch those videos, and maybe comment back here or make a thread on the boards with your thoughts on them. You won't regret watching them!!!!

So anyway, this is the first of many rants over the next few days, perhaps even over the next few hours. School is cancelled tomorrow and I am home alone tomorrow. I am up drinking caffeine all night because I don't have to get up in the morning to get ready for school. Yay me! Yay coffee!