creep

the_loser's picture

I don't think myspace is a reliable source to meet friends or try to know someone. My friends have told me they hardly know anything about me, some have them have known me a while. I don't know if anyone really knows me, how far does the extent of 'know' even go? When people ask me about myself I tell them my interests. That's how I've seen myself. On myspace I don't have a couple of bullets saying what I love to do. I've only said, I have a sense of humor, do you? Afterall, I think that's the most important part anyone should ever know about me. I can't be defined by interests. You can't define anyone by interests, really. There's so much more than that. Interests don't define the personality, or the depth at which a person has, and what that person can produce by way of emotions, by love. Personality. How do you define personality? Actions, emotions, thoughts, opinions? How you react to others, what you as an individual are expressing to the public for people to see. Or just for yourself.

It may sound cold, but there are few people in my life that I would be truly deeply impacted to see go. I love my friends. But if we separated I would be sad, but I would eventually get over it, I'm an optimist, afterall. Does this mean I'm using them? Well, no, I'm not, but what does it mean? To be close to someone, but not so close at the same time, but by leaving, you feel hardly anything and seem almost uneffected. And when I say I 'love' them, what does that even mean? there are different types of love. Love. I love to be around you. I like your presence because I'm entertained by it. You enjoy my presence, we converse, we have a mutual liking toward each other, therefore, I love you! No, that's not love. That's tolerance, enjoyment. Love love is so much different. Though I don't speak from experience, only observation, or do I? Love runs deep. It's like caring for someone else more than you care for yourself, it's caring for their own well being, it's deep interest, it's intense emotions, excitement, jealousy, fear, and infinite happiness, all at the same time. It's confusion and uncertainty. But mere adjectives cannot express that feeling. Nothing really can. Afterall whenever someone believes they feel it, don't they doubt? No one can be certain of it. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I guess I'm trying to release some epiphany that might tell me what to do next. Not that I'm in need of much direction, things will run their own course I suppose.

I haven't posted in a while, this was extremely impulsive. I might be rusty from writing.

Comments

tenmilestilts's picture

wow that's like u did a

wow that's like u did a brain-scan of me and wrote it down. i honestly don't have anything uplifting to say bout all that cept don't think about it too much it'll only get you down. instead think about the fact that you *have* found people that you get along with, at least, and the fact that there's gotta be someone out ther for you. *hugz*
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Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do!

the_loser's picture

haha thanks :D but i don't

haha thanks :D but i don't believe in a soul mate or anything, not for me at least haha