Where do I start?
The real question is where do I fit in? Everybody seems to have a niecly-cut niche, a group of friends, an obsession. I'm just not sure what I am supposed to be. Sometimes I'm too nerdy, and sometimes too stupid. And usually not funny, except for those 'rarities' where I'm being offensive.
It seems so dramatic and wierd and akward to make such a big fuss over something so trivial, so unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
I'm jealous of all of those people who fit into a stereotype, because that at least sets down guidelines for them. Is there such category as a lesbian-tranny-nerd-artist-counselor-calculator enthusiast? Freak is the only one that comes to mind.
And everything I seem to be good at is soon learned by those closest to me... I used to think I was the only one who...etc...
I don't understand how I could have been so ignorant as I was-- to think that anything I used to love required even an ounce of talent. I thought it came so easy not because it WAS easy, but because it required some sort of skill. Of course I am not unique. Of course I can't make a difference as I am. Something has to change.
But to think about it, this world is just itching to give everyone a shiny gold medal just for playing the game.
you win.
Comments
newsflash sweetheart,
newsflash sweetheart, steriotypes suck HARDCORE!!!!! i have no niche, i just talk to people.
"but outside the door to my German class, leaning against the wall--looking more like a Roman god than anyone had a right to-- Tyler was waiting for me" I MADE THIS UP!!!!!!!mostly.
yes
You are so right. Stereotypes do suck. I think what I need is a place, somewhere to belong that isn't with my nose in some psychology book, in front of the TV, or meandering through school aimlessly...
*sigh* that sounded emo.
Hmm...
So, you want other people to not judge you? Shouldn't you go first?
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"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis
no, not at all.
The thing is, I'm sick of not having any sort of 'role-model' to follow. I mean, there are male and female rolemodels, but none for people who don't know where they fit. I want my dad to play catch with me like a boy, but then open the door for me like a lady. I think this whole confusion thing is a gender thing in (quite out in the open) hiding... I want to fit in somewhere.