the concert was fucking AMAZING. it was SOOOOOOOOOO wonderful!!!!!!!

C conducted a piece called The Night The Pinata's Came Back!!! it was hilarious!!!

and the party was....oh my god. it was so wonderful. i can't even describe it. i LOVE those women. i cannot WAIT until i'm one of them. i adore them. all of them. they all know me, and dote on me, and it's just WONDERFUL. such good energy. just warm and friendly and loving, and not one of them cares that i'm different, or strange, or odd, or geeky, or any of it! they just care about me. no questions, no conditions, just....unconditional caring.

they're smart, and funny, adn they laugh at my jokes! i'm not trying to make it sound like i'm the center of attention or anything, cause i'm not. i was just surrounded by all these lovely, lovely women.

i've known some of them for years and years....they all greet me by name, with hugs and kisses. i feel so....accepted with them, like i never have anywhere else. i wish, oh i WISH that i lived up there. i wish i'd grown up there, surrounded by those wonderful women.

i keep thinking that when i move back from Australia, that i want to go live up there, but...i dunno. it's so hard to get a job and support yourself. and what about J? she'd hate it...i know she would. i couldn't ask her to move there for me. i just....dunno.

i love that villiage so much. you have no idea....driving up highway 1 out of Fort Bragg....it feels like coming home. like that's where i belong. my friend Ma was talking about how he was going to stick around after he graduates, keep working, and be a volunteer firefighter. and all i could think was that that sounded like the best life. that's what i want! maybe not now...cause right now, i want to go to Australia, and have that adventure...but i know that one day, i am going to live in mendocino. it's in my heart, in my blood.

i think J'll be upset when she reads that....she'll feel bad for pulling me away from this state i love, but she shouldn't. i need to leave. not forever, just for a while. and in a year, we'll see. so much can change in a year, bad adn good alike. it'll all work out in the end.

anyway. i stayed at the party til 1 am. :D at which point, i'd been up for 21 hours. so that was fun. i was dead tired, but the hotel bed was SO uncomfortable that i couldn't sleep. guh. and now i'm sick-ish. not horribly, anymore, just....eh.

BD