i want to cry, but i won't. my tears won't do anything.

i want to hold her, and my heart breaks every time i can't.

it's so fucking unfair, all of it. why do they have to be like that??

i'm so angry. i lied to her, i did hear them. i just didn't want her to go. i know she was crying.

it hurts. it hurts so bad. i feel like such a failure, because i can't help. i can't even be there!

oh god oh god oh god, i hate this! i'm so powerless and i hate it!

i love you, i love you, why can't that be enough?? it should be everything, and it's not! everything is still so fucked up and i hate it!!!!

it's so unfair, that i'm safe at home, warm in bed, when she can't be. i just want to hold her! why is that too much to ask?

BD