I broke up with Hilary on Wednesday. I couldn't do the long distance thing anymore. It was too much, it was eating away at me. In the end I was starting to not like her anymore either. She was jealous of EVERY person I talked to, male or female :S. I couldn't be dishonest with her anymore, so I broke up with her. She took it very badly... luckily her friend was sleeping over so she couldn't hurt herself. As she was threatening to do. Now she's just being extremely bitter. Whatever.

I'm so lonely... so so lonely. I have no gay friends and it's making me depressed because I feel completely alone and Verity does not understand this. "Lets be realistic, there has to be more than just you in this town, there has to be more gay people. Go meet people from other schools." Like shit.... no.

Oh and also I've recently been advised NOT to pursue Vic because apparently she's straight. So yeah. I'm kinda crushed. I wasn't sure before if she was or not because we have this whole eye contact and smiling thing going on even when no one is talking and Verity said before that Vic speaks to me in a more "Pleasant tone". So I was going to carry out an investigation like getting a little bit more into her personal space. Not in a rapist way, just like standing closer possibly touching her hands or her arm and gauging her reaction. If she responds positively keep the fuck going, if she responds negatively back off. But no. Em said to Verity "I don't think she likes girls... I know her well." What the hell. So I'm sad about being lonely and I'm sad about Vic. More sad than I thought I would be. A lot more. Fuck my life.