what's up with me? huh? i don't talk to ANYONE anymore. i don't feel like TALKING. time was, i couldn't wait to tell my friends what i did all day...C especially, and Em, even wolf. i haven't had any kind of txt conversation with R since before xmas, and while i don't miss it, i don't understand why i haven't found someone else to talk to.

i mean, J and i talk every day, but that's different. i can't explain it, it just is.

i just don't feel like talking. to anyone. (note: when i say anyone, that doesn't include J.) C's pretty much given up on me, and i'm half dreading seeing her on Saturday, cause i know she'll be a bit peaved, and i haven't told her ANYTHING about AU, and i know she'll want to plan another marathon, nad i just don't see how that could work.

i don't understand it. i used to talk about EVERYTHING. and now? i dunno....is it that i'm figuring stuff out okay on my own? is it part of how i'm growing up?

and like, even the people i care about, who i know what me to talk to them...it just seems like too much effort, and i hate myself for that.

so eh. i dunno. i'm just going with it, seeing where it takes me.

in other news, i want to learn how to firedance.

oh, and it's also much cooler today, so YAY. i'm going to DIE in australia. just you wait. i'm stark raving mad, actually, for going. i detest the heat. :P i might melt (and not in the good way that'll involve my gf :D). or burn (again, not the way that involves my gf...).

BD