am i obsessive if i can't stop thinking about him? i have dreams with him in them, holding my hand or going to sleep by him. and normaly i don't dream! my most recent dream about him was one where i met his mom and he introduced me and everything, but he was different somehow. like he was , . . . whole, that is the only word i can think of. then the dream shifted and i was introduceing MY parents, and i seemed to feel like i was loseing a part of myself, but gaining something in exchange. i see the only truth in this world as the law of equvalent exchange. andyway, if i can't go through one minute without thinking of him, or at least his name, does that make me obsessive?

great now i want to cry because i am afraid he might read this and either A) not like me as much, or B) get freaked out by my admission of how compleatly he is in my thoughts. and i am also afraid that he will not feel the same, i fear that i would be on the lower end.

i get on oasis now days and hope that i have a pm from him, and if i dont, then i go and find his most recent posts and comment on them, of comment on his comments.

i feel like a stalker now, but i can't be near him any other way, and that alone makes me feel like something is missing. i just want someone to tell me if this is normal, or if i am being a stalker. or ocd? i dont really know, and while all of your opinions are going to be taken into account, only his opinoin is what really matters to me right now. that and that i feel really clingy, but i can put that one with something, cuz i feel like if i don't try to keep in contact he will forget about me.

oh and i might be a lifeguard at my local state park pool this year.