I fell again. And I'm struggling with all I have to climb up the slippery face of sanity....I've never used a lover's name in a poem before...but I needed to...I just HAD to...
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Your breath upon my neck,
how silently sweet.
My wrists are in your tender grip,
hold me in control!
Don't let me escape you!
I groan your name with loving hatred
for what you can do to me in my time of draconian emotion.
Why does your tongue have to taste like that?
Why can you hit the spots she never could?
My lungs are on fire,
screaming with silent fury.
I hate myself.
I hate lying beneath you,
your hands and mouth teaching me to love again.
I can't love you.
You're just like them.
Passion passed.
Serenity sweeps through with the rising sun.
Your hands are so soft as you cradle mine.
You're beautiful.
You call me a liar.
But how could I lie to someone I'm falling for?
Stinging anger resides within my torn soul
as you kiss me tenderly.
As if you never want me to let you go.
I did this to myself.
I'm weak.
I'm wasted.
Wasted weakness.
You tell me that I'll forget about you the next day.
I want to spit in your face.
I wish I could forget you!
I wish that you would never leave my sight!
No.
Stop.
I can't be angry at you.
You did not know of my affection
as you brought me to those glistening peaks.
One last glance before I run.
Your eyes.
I can see the sadness and the hurt.
The worry.
I turn on my heels and pound my feet to the ground.
I have to get away from you.
I have to stop this,
all of it.
I have to find the switch,
that sacred lever that will set me free.
I hope I never find it.
Just so that I don't give up this hope.
This hope that you will one day love me...
my sweetest Lauren....