First and foremost I want to be DONE. I want to be FREE of Maddie. FREE. Because I'm still not. It's fucked up. SOMEONE HELP ME FREE MYSELF OF THIS. PLEASE. I beg of you. Someone, anyone. I hate myself for this.

Secondly, my English lover. Well we aren't really lovers. But I like her and wish she lived in Canada and blahblahblah. We've talked on the phone so much lately. Msn isn't enough. The phone isn't enough. But there is this conflicting emotion. It's called Vic. I kinda like Vic and I wish she wasn't so damn confusing or I'd ask her out. But if I dated Vic I would feel HORRIBLY guilty because of my English girl. But she lives so far away and I can't just move to England right now :(. And I'm so confused and I just want some advice and if I started dating someone now English girl would be very upset with me but we aren't exclusive or even dating because she lives in England and GAH. Advice, please. Help. Me.