Seperate blood lines

21 March, 2009 - 3:52pm — Siovampire

So...don't you hate it when you're supposed to be in on something...but you're not? I mean...even something as serious as family. I went up to Cape Cod for a family funeral for my Uncle Pat (he's my mum's uncle) and all my cousin's and second cousins and others were there. I don't know these people! I remember Cousin Katie...that's it...and the last time I saw these people I was like....8.

And then the icing on the awkward loneliness cake: my cousin Cameron, who's the same age as me, keeps making remarks. "She's not your grandma, where do you get off getting in on our group hug?"...."What right do you have to see MY cousin more often than I do?"..."You don't even know Rosie (my friggin cousin who I saw 2 years previous)"...."We never see you, it's like you don't exist."

I'm in that family!...aren't I? I mean...They're my second cousins! I'm related by blood for fuck's sake!....but they all know each other....and I don't. I didn't even know Quinn and Cameron EXISTED before this week. I barely remember Emma and Peaches....Peaches was 4 when I last saw her and Emma...she was like 7.

And it scared me because I was getting conflicting things from the whole group. All 5 of my cousins....like...Cameron was all "you're not one of us" and Emma was all "we love you!" soooo....I would be there and I'd feel seperated....

And Emma's beautiful...is that wrong? I mean, it gave me the skeevies...she's my mother's cousin's neice. So is it gross to think she's gorgeous? AGHHHH it makes me wanna scream!!!! Stupid Cameron.....

And the adults are strange too....there's so many of them! Uncle Pat had 7 kids. 6 boys and one girl. And isn't it funny that the only girl (my cousin Lily) is a lesbian?! We went to Provincetown together (huuuuge gay area) and it was wonderful. We walked around in the pouring rain and talked. She called me goofy and it made me so happy inside...like a little kid being given a treat. It was wonderful knowing that there was someone..."like me" in my family. But she's like...out but not...talked about. She told me that once she and a "friend" were on vaca with her parents. And one day her mother just blurts out "so when are you two getting married?" .....sooooo....I have no idea what the HELL is up with my family.

Is it taboo? I don't want to be taboo....I want to stop being on the outside....

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Comments

21 March, 2009 - 7:43pm — Nanook

Cameron can go fucking stick

Cameron can go fucking stick it up his ass. Be harsh and be a jackass to him. When he understands that you're not gonna take his crap, he'll stop being a douche.

21 March, 2009 - 9:28pm — Siovampire

haha thanks! omg that made

haha thanks! omg that made me feel better XD yea, well i finally flipped out and said stuff along the lines of "I'm in this friggin famliy too. I have as much of their DNA as you do and you keep making these nasty remarks!" and he sorta kinda ate his words.

he still says he didn't say anything.. but he's apologized a lot and honestly tried to be nice to me
so....*shrug* thanks nanook!

22 March, 2009 - 12:28am — l.enigma_ambulante

=/

I feel like I get the same thing from my extended family sometimes, too..
I'm just too shy to say something to them, though.

&& You're not alone in wanting to not be on the outside.. I feel the same way!! I suppose, in a way, it is taboo, but if there were no one to do those taboo things, would there be cultural advancement? Nope.. society wouldn't have anything to base norms on. So to me, doing something taboo can be a good thing, except when it comes to incest.. that's where I draw the line.

22 March, 2009 - 1:46am — Siovampire

oh yea...incest

oh yea...incest is...*shudder* blech! and yes! it is definatly all that helps cultural advancement. if no one does anything that's not "normal" then things would just keep going the same trodding, boring way.

i like the way you think lol :)

22 March, 2009 - 5:54am — Peregrine

you know that second cousins

you know that second cousins are not in that taboo right?

"One joy shatters a thousand greifs" - - - Chineese Proverb

22 March, 2009 - 6:15am — l.enigma_ambulante

Actually, it depends on

Actually, it depends on where you live..
Here in Wisconsin, at least, society frowns upon marriages between any relatives marrying, and I believe that's how it is in most states. Same goes for relationships (dating, sexual, etc.) of any kind, no matter what orientation they are. The way I see it, if you forget how many generations there are between your parents and their parents on the family tree (like.. more than 6? haha), you're good. Plus, if it's between a guy and a girl, and the girl gets pregnant, there's a heightened risk of birth defect and mental disorders.

Hmm.. I never thought about it, but I guess my "kiss / make out" with my cousins would be considered incestous... but that was also when I was too young to know what the hell I was doing ha. Still.. ew.

22 March, 2009 - 4:10pm — Siovampire

Well actually, it is REALLY

Well actually, it is REALLY common for first cousins to get married. I've seen documentaries on it....there's a lot more than people think, but it's on the down low because people frown upon it. I personally, when i really think about it, have no problem with it. I mean...who cares, right? And about the birth defects, that's not true. The only way a child of two parents from the same family has a hightened risk is if both people HAPPEN to have the same recessive gene. And that's really unlikely. So it has been scientifically proven that there is no greater a risk for, say, first cousins to have a kid, than for two strangers to have a kid.

I honestly don't care, now that I think about it. It was just a little odd for me to like....realize it at first. Now I don't care lol

22 March, 2009 - 6:19pm — l.enigma_ambulante

Hmm.. I suppose you're right

Hmm.. I suppose you're right lol. Sorry =] I was.. talking outta my ass I guess. XD

22 March, 2009 - 8:06pm — Siovampire

psh i don't care :P

psh i don't care :P everyone has opinions, right?