i've been feeling very....quiet, lately.

i don't want to be around people.

i don't want to talk to anyone, really, cept J.

i've been horrible about replying to messages here.

i'm not reading journals, or commenting on what i do read.

i dunno.

i just want to be alone.

being in the city isn't a good place for that, lol.

sooooo many people, EVERYWHERE. how do they live like this? i'd go mad.

my aunt M keeps exclaiming about how beautiful the apartment buildings are, how the bay is so gorgeous...and all i can think is "it'd be a lot nicer if all hte builidings weren't there."

they just got back.

i just want to go home.

be alone.

i need....space.

i feel so closed in, so trapped.

i have to walk about 5 feet behind them, when we're on the streets. cause otherwise, i get panicky.

ugh.

i feel like shit

i want to run and scream, and hide and sleep and be with J.

i never seem to remember how much i really can't stand my aunts. i love them to bits, but i really can't stand them. they drive me insane, and they both take passive aggression to a whole new level.

but Je is coming for dinner tonight, and i adore him.

i think i'm going to go take a nap.

i want to be with J. that's it. i don't care where, or how, i just wnat to be with her.

she's the only thing that feels right these days. everything else is upside down and inside out, but she's right, and good and everything.

she's everything.

BD