i've been feeling very....quiet, lately.
i don't want to be around people.
i don't want to talk to anyone, really, cept J.
i've been horrible about replying to messages here.
i'm not reading journals, or commenting on what i do read.
i just want to be alone.
being in the city isn't a good place for that, lol.
sooooo many people, EVERYWHERE. how do they live like this? i'd go mad.
my aunt M keeps exclaiming about how beautiful the apartment buildings are, how the bay is so gorgeous...and all i can think is "it'd be a lot nicer if all hte builidings weren't there."
they just got back.
i just want to go home.
i feel so closed in, so trapped.
i have to walk about 5 feet behind them, when we're on the streets. cause otherwise, i get panicky.
i feel like shit
i want to run and scream, and hide and sleep and be with J.
i never seem to remember how much i really can't stand my aunts. i love them to bits, but i really can't stand them. they drive me insane, and they both take passive aggression to a whole new level.
but Je is coming for dinner tonight, and i adore him.
i think i'm going to go take a nap.
i want to be with J. that's it. i don't care where, or how, i just wnat to be with her.
she's the only thing that feels right these days. everything else is upside down and inside out, but she's right, and good and everything.