Puzzlement
I'm confused. My mind immediately associates my undefined sexuality with the fact that I never know who I am. In a sense, I become those around me. Each year, I change a little bit, starting to act like everyone I was close to. I feel like, if I can figure out what I am, I can figure out who I am (does that make sense?). I never feel like I am me. I feel like I can find myself, but I don't know how... Gah. Confussling.
I hope this isn't an awful first journal entry.
XP
If you are not getting confirmation e-mails from Oasis to complete your membership, don't hesitate to e-mail jeff at oasismag dot com. Be sure to include your username.
Recent articles
Recent journal entries
Active forum topics
- The Nike Air Max Shoes - New Improved and Still Amazing
- Transgender/coming out?
- Can you envisage an any more pointless existence?
- The Curse of Reparative Therapy
- First Book: 'Keeping You A Secret' By Julie Anne Peters
- A Kids Reaction To A Gay Couple
- The Importance Of Giving Feedback
- Advice?
- Will Portman - Son of Ohio's Senator Portman: His Column on Coming Out
- Can you imagine the vitriol unleashed by Republicans…
Who's online
There are currently 1 user and 6 guests online.
Online users
- sxhgshpy
Comments
Welcome...
Glad you finally decloaked and started posting...
Seems like you might be a bit of a feedback loop here, where everything is sort of circular. Basically:
-- If I sort out my identity, I will better understand my sexuality; and
-- Once I sort out my sexuality, I will better understand my identity.
So, both of those are pretty much untrue, and just a further delay to either happening.
There's nothing to figure out, usually. You just need to stop looking for what you think should be there, and figure out what is there. OR, as in the case of Justin that I interviewed, decide how you want to present yourself to the world, and start manifesting that on a daily basis.
---
"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis
I remember that part of my
I remember that part of my life. It wasn't actually that long ago, probably like two years ago. It lasted for about a year and a half actually.
But uhm, during that part of my life, I just ended up with a lot of crying and a lot of frustration. Finally, I was just like "FUCK THIS SHIT! Why does it matter?!". And then I just stopped thinking about it.
But, then I started to realize how I've changed/developed since puberty. I don't mean that in the physical sense, but instead in the social/emotional/mental sense. Like, I began to care what people thought about me, I cared about how I looked, I began to care about people and a whole bunch of other stuff. And I noticed how much people influence. But instead of getting frustrated about it, I just let myself be. And then I realized, that it doesn't matter. Because everyone changes, and that change might as well be influenced by people we like. I mean, would you rather have your change be influenced by someone you hate, or someone you like?
I hope my first reply to your first journal isn't awful.
XD
Hi! Welcome to Oasis. Nanook
Hi! Welcome to Oasis.
Nanook and Jeff made really good points and I couldn't word it better so I second what they said. :)
Hope this place helps ya out! (no pun intended lol)
<3
You all made me smile (that's a good thing. <3). I think I'll just throw caution to the winds and say it. I don't think I care anymore if I embarrass my future self, those around me, etc. That's mostly what I've been worried about.
---
<33