and now my mom isn't talking to me, and i feel like shit.

so, here's what happened.

my mom is a blood donor, and it's like, really important to her. whatever.

so sunday, the blood bank she donates to had this big lunch/celebration thing recognising all it's 10 gallon donors (she's one).

she got to invite a guest, and since my dad didn't really want to go, i said i would. not my idea of a good time, but free food, whatever.

my mom tells me we need to leave at 11 hte next morning, so i need to be ready by then.

so i do my laundry saturday night, so i have stuff to wear, i set my alarm, double check that it's on and the volume's up, and that the time is right...and i go to sleep.

the next morning AT 11, my mom wakes me up!!! my alarm didn't go off (and no, i didn't sleep through it...it's on my phone, and it goes off until i kill it), and for whatever reason, she didn't come to see if i were awake UNTIL IT WAS TIME TO LEAVE!!!

so i, in my half asleep, groggy stupor, say "why don't you just go?" thinking that i got 4 hours of sleep, and had been planning on time to take a shower and have coffee before leaving.

she SLAMS my door on her way out, which was my first clue that she was pissed, then, 20 minutes later, she txts me (yes, my mom txts me) to tell me that she's really upset that i didn't come.

and all i can think is, if you wanted me to come, why didn't you just say so instead of slamming my door on your way out? i mean, i wouldn't have been terribly happy about it, but i could've gotten ready in 5 minutes, and would've gone.

so now we're not talking. and i'm hiding in my room. i went down to try and talk to her this afternoon, but she just ignored me. and i don't know why she won't talk to me about it...or at least yell at me.

and now i feel even shittier, cause i called wolf, but she didn't want to talk, and didn't feel like hanging out, so i can't go over there.

and Em's too busy, as always.

and i'd just kinda like something to work out right now. for something GOOD to happen, cause i'm getting depressed again, and i HATE it, and i just don't care enough to make it stop.

i want to cry. i want my mom to talk to me.

wolf's txting me now...i want to go over so bad, but...but i dunno. it's so hard to accept even the slightest bit of comfort, even when i'm the one who goes looking for it. and J's already being so nice to me...

okay, i'm going over to wolf's. good. yay.

BD