Kay so i no longer have that crush on a boy i've discussed in my last few journal entries which is really good. we're actually more like brother and sister. He's teh protective older brother and im the angel little sister. But really close friends like i tell him EVERYTHING. I told him about my previous abuse and stuff and he was just a really good listener. I don't think i could still hang out with him as often if i hadn't told him because like my mood often can swing and it's because something may trigger a bad memory or something so like onesecond i'll be all over you the next I don't want you to fucking touch me. but we hng out last night and had an hour talk at the river which was really nice.
Our other friend is really jealous of the tiem we spend together but neither of us wanna hang out with this guy that much he's loud and obnoxious and we've tried to tell him nicely but he won't listen. He's also madly in love with my friend so it's really complicated. When M is anywhere nice to this kid (V) V things that he's leading him on and wanting to date and he gets all the wrong signals from just friendly hang outs.
On other news im trying to find an ID i could use or get my hands on a fake so i can go to the gay bar on my friends birthday (May 23) so i have a little while to find one but the sooner i find one the less i have to worry.