Labels like "bisexual" and "lesbian" seem to just be there so that other people can understand what you are. I came out as bisexual, because I like both guys and girls, but sometimes not equally, and I'm ok with that. I know who I like, and thats enough, but to explain to people I just say I'm bi. So if you like both, mainly girls, sometimes guys, thats ok. You know that about your self. So you don't have to label yourself.

I find it discouraging that people in the gay and lesbian community sometimes try and claim that there is no such thing as being bisexual. It is not just a bunch of crock, and it is not greedy. (sorry if that sounds mean.)

for a while I did not want to be bisexual, I wanted to be a lesbian, and kept trying to come up for excuses for the crushes I had on guys, until I realized that I couldn't change my sexual orientation. just try and be happy with who you are, not who you want to be, or feel you should be. also, there is absolutely no rush in figuring out a label for yourself, and you can call yourself whatever you want.
maybe you should try looking past peoples genders and not get so wrapped up in that, though when you aren't straight, its easy to just focus on that one part.
also check out the Kinsey scale, that might be interesting.

Is anyone pointing a gun to your head and making you decide? I'm going to presume that your answer is no.

So then what does it matter? All gay or lesbian is is a label. Sure, they can be important for self-identification, but really, all they really are are superficial.

It sounds like to me, you're a lesbian. The kind of sex you have with guys sounds pretty shallow. You get off on the fact that they get off on you. If I were you, I'd just tell everyone that you're a lesbian. But then again, I don't understand females at all.

In my day, sexual orientation had nothing to do with who you slept with and everything to do with who you loved. Lables are for soup cans and cds. I totally understand your family pressures. My family is irish-mexican-american and they have to same concerns. But they also believe that love is love and happiness is what matters in your relationship, not just what other people call it.

- - -
Pronouns make it hard to keep our sexual orientation a secret when our co-workers ask about your weekend.
- I had a GREAT time with...them.
Yay, now they don't think you're queer, just a slut!

Bi now, gay later - I LOVE IT! =)

Also, I totally agree with the whole labels are for soup cans statement -
and I wish it was that easy to NOT label yourself or not to have to answer
questions in regards to your orientation - but the truth of the matter is
that eventually I'm going to have to identify with one side or the other
because there is a pretty slim possibility any side would take me seriously
if I don't choose one for keeps. And as far as your family goes - I don't
know your situation but from what you said, it sounds like your family would
be A LOT more accepting than mine because they are international as is
(irish-mexican) so that makes them a lot more open-minded about love than my
family is. Like you said, in the end your family believes that love is love
no matter what where my mother ALREADY cries over being scared that I won't
marry a Russian-speaking MAN. If I decide to marry an Italian or a Greek,
for example, she feels she won't be able to handle it and that she needs to
feel comfortable and relate to the in laws. How fucking selfish. Oh and we
have MANY conversations on that matter and I am VERY stubborn in my ways and
I tell her all the time that I will marry someone who LOVES me, no matter if
that person is from a Russian culture or not and I tell her straight out
that I REFUSE to sacrifice my happiness in life just so she can feel
comfortable, sorry mom, it ain't happening. But in a way I kinda feel bad
for her and wish I could be what she wants me to be but I only have one life
and I intent on making MYSELF happy through out. I wish I had no
responsibility to anyone but myself sometimes.

Oh shh Jeff.

Hey! So I had part of a reply to this thread earlier, and then my browser died. So this is take two: I know it's easier said than acted upon, but if people don't understand who you are/how you identify/how you label yourself, then it's their problem. I live in NYC with a craaaazy-flourishing gay community, and there are so many labels here that... well, I'm really tired so I can't think of an appropriate metaphor. But you get the idea; there are TONS of different kinds of labels. I agree 100% that you don't even need a label, and you should just be whatever you feel comfortable being. But, if you really really feel the need to have a label, for others to understand you or to start getting a handle on yourself... then make it your own. If you're going to describe yourself in a few little words, it's your responsibility to yourself to make sure they're damn accurate. Do some research. From what you've described, I'd hazard a guess that it'd be easiest for you just to identify as "queer" (non-straight, of undefined and not necessarily fixed attraction to each sex). It's nice and non-committal, yet mainstream enough that people will understand it. You could also go with "pansexual" (attracted to all genders in unspecified amounts), "homoflexible" (mostly gay but some/superficial attraction to the opposite sex), or our friend the Kinsey Scale. There are zillions of labels out there, and you should customize and do whatever you like to make sure that whatever you choose to call yourself fits. And no matter what closeminded people around you think, keep in mind that you don't need a label, you're who you are regardless of what you call it. Also, keep in mind that sexuality is fluid, and not only incredibly difficult to encapsulate in a single word but also subject to change. If someone at one times identifies as bi and later as lesbian, it's not them being "wishy-washy," their sexuality may simple have shifted over time. And I'm going to add my two cents about bisexuality, which is that it's 100% possible, and not at all indecisive or slutty. Some people give bisexuality a bad name and there are lots of stereotypes, but it's really not any of the bad stuff people make it out to be. It also doesn't necessarily imply equal attraction to both sexes... But I can see how it would be interpreted that way, especially in the sense I get of your climate. Argh. That was a bit long and possibly very incoherant, but I hope it helped some. Shoot me a PM if you ever want to talk--for the record, I came out as a lesbian, then I started being somewhat-but-not-as-much attracted to men... so that puts me in a similar boat as yours, it seems.

Megan: "Cheers are supposed to be simple, make people feel good."
Graham: "Cheers make girls do stupid cartwheels. Orgasms make people feel good."
-But I'm a Cheerleader

I don't see why it matters what label you use. I prefer women, but I am attracted to men on occasions so I say I am pansexual, and if I don't want to explain that I just say bi. If people have issues with that it just shows they need some education or I just shouldn't bother with someone who has issues with stereotypes.

You don't need a label, the lesbian with a twist idea is a good one. Then you can express it in a way that makes you happy. Just be yourself, don't worry about labels.