....couldn't put me back together again.

but she can. she does. i feel Right with a capital R like i haven't in so long.

not talking to her while she was away was hell. everything was out of joint, even when i was having such a good time at my party. all my doubts, my fears, my misgivings, they all came flodding in, trying to drown me.

and now we're talking again, and she's my lifeboat. she's my island, my safe haven.

i'm still afraid, yeah. i'm still worried about things, and uncertain, and teetering on the brink of depression. but she makes my heart sing. she makes my world light up. she grounds me, and makes everything seem okay.

i've been so down this last week. despite my birthday, and my AMAZING party. prolly cause my hormones are all out of wack from not having my pills for a few days. guh.

i just want to BE there already!!! i hate all the waiting, and all the stuff i have to do. i'm so tempted to totally forgo school, and just do the work/holiday visa, instead. it'd be soooo much easier. and....well, i'm not too sure about school.

BUT. we'll see. :D

BD

PS i know i've been horrible about reading/commenting on journals, and while i feel bad about that, i still need some ME time. :) i'm just not in a good place to be dishing out advice. i love y'all. *hugs* ~me