why are we..the way we are?..
Sometimes, I honestly can't stand not KNOWING why I feel the way I feel. Why am I GAY?! Is it genetic?? Is it because I was raised by a single mother and she had tons of lesbian and gay friends? Is it because my father skipped out when she told him she was pregnant? Is it because boys have physically and mentally tortured me my whole life??? WHY?
I'll admit, I have problems with guys. My whole life, I've only ever had 2 guy friends who were really close and they came along in high school. I don't trust men or boys. I constantly wonder when they're gonna hurt me like the guys at school did for those long 8 years. I just..don't trust them.
Why do I like girls?! My mother told me that she's not TOTALLY 100% straight...so is it genetic? But then why aren't I straight with lesbian tendancies? (haha) It kills me not knowing.
How do you guys feel? I'm honestly curious to hear your answers...I'm still looking for mine.
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Personally...
I don't ask these questions.
Why do you have the hair color you have? Why are you as tall as you are?
I think the notion of asking this question is in some way related to the notion that you chose this, in that the only things people tend to ask 'why' about are things in which they have options.
But, in this case, you don't. But there's enough chatter out there about preference, lifestyle, choices, etc., so it does muddy the water.
So, if you question your eye color, hair color, height, and everything else, then have at it, I suppose. If this is the only thing on the list, you need to figure out why you won't put this on the list with the other 'fixed' qualities that make you who you are.
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"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis
You know
I agree with Jeff basically.
Basically, no matter what the cause, it's a variable that's out of your control. And it's better to spend that energy coming to terms with that, as well as figuring out what to do about it, then worrying about what set that variable in the first place.
I don't personally believe
I don't personally believe in the stereotype that people are gay because of bad relationships with the opposite sex because for me that's just simply not true. I've had a good mix of girl and guy friends throughout my life and I haven't had any REALLY bad relationships with guys. My dad can be an ass sometimes and my brother is mentally ill and our relationship over the past 6 years has been up and down but that's due to the illness and not really him.
Honestly I just think you are just born gay. People tend to think that it's life experiences that change you to be gay but I've ALWAYS been confused. I remember when I was younger and being confused because of sex and I wasn't attracted to the idea of sex with guys but I didn't think I could be that way with a girl until later on. And that's a whole other story :P
Or it could be different for everyone. I think that everyone is sorta bi but they aren't open enough to the idea(because of society, family, ect.) so they never pursue it.
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things. Some shall be pardoned, some punished. Never was a story of more regret than this of Juliet and her fair Juliet.
Heh...
You know who thinks everyone is bi? Bisexuals.
You know who think everyone should accept that gender is fluid? Trans people.
It always seems people want to pull other people into their experience to validate it more, rather than just do their thing and not care what others think or do.
---
"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis
I don't think everyone is
I don't think everyone is bi!
Woow
Umm...Okay all I did was state MY opinion. AND I said I think that everyone is SORTA bi. I didn't say they ARE bi. What I really meant with that comment was that I THINK that most people are attracted to people of both sexes at one point of another during their life time. Which doesn't make them bisexual....Yes I know that. I didn't really type things out properly.
AND if you'll notice I said "it could be different for everybody"
And I don't care what people do with their lives nor do I care what they think of mine. I was simply stating what my opinion was since Siovampire asked.
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things. Some shall be pardoned, some punished. Never was a story of more regret than this of Juliet and her fair Juliet.
I agree with Jeff too. I
I agree with Jeff too. I think it's really useless to think about why you're gay - you just are.
I do get why you would want to find a reason for it, it's like finding an excuse. Something to point to, right? It wasn't you who did it, it was your father leaving, or boys taunting you, or whatever. And you know it wasn't you already, don't you? So it's either one of those things you mentioned, or a combination. But it doesn't matter which.
By the way, if it's genetic and you think you "got it" from your mum, you don't have to be exactly like her. I know a blind girl who inherited it from her parents, and they can both see. They're just carriers.
But I don't think it works like that, cause I have no family at all (I have 28 cousins) who's gay. Except if maybe some of the kids younger than me are(six of them are younger than me), and we just don't know it yet, but most of them are married or engaged or divorced.
Oh, wait, no, I have a bi aunt. But she's not biologically related.
I don't think...
it's completely useless.
I questioned why I was bisexual when I first figured out what I was. It's just something most people ask and most of the time they don't get answered. It's just the way life works. And as far as gay being biological goes, I'm pretty sure it's not . I'm not totally sure though. Is it? What gene would that be? See? All questions that probably wont get answered.
Hmm...
What bit am I missing. It's not useless... you asked those questions, too... and you didn't get answers...
Isn't asking questions where you don't get answers the definition of useless?
I advise against it because it's easy. You can sit around and let your mind spin in circles, and think that you're on some path to sorting things out. But all you're doing is spinning your wheels until you finally start making actual steps forward, like accepting yourself, telling people, and things that actually help you.
Even if you figured it out, you still have to do all the other (and more important) stuff anyway. So, in the interest of time, skip it. :-)
---
"People who are happy are slugs... They do not move the human race forward."
-- Camille Paglia, on Oasis
If being gay is genetic then
If being gay is genetic then we're all fucked because then one day in the not too distant future there will be a "cure" for it.
That being said. I've thought the same things "what if i'm gay because my mom is a crazy bitch?" :D
And Jeff had a really good point.
I'm beginning to realize that questioning these things makes me go crazy cuz I know I'll never have an answer for them. And i'm slowly starting to accept that. I'm not really sure if I want an answer either..
It is a fixed quality
It is a fixed quality because you can't change it, just like eye color, natural color of everything, the way your taste buds are arranged (genetically) on the surface of your tongue that give you individual taste preferences, etc. except those things ARE ACTUALLY GENETIC. If homosexuality was genetic, some of my family would be . . .well, my cousin's bi, but that's all I know.
Although once my mom did say "everyone has those feelings, we just don't act on them" those were her exact words when she was telling me I wasn't gay. WEEeeiiirrrddd. And if it was genetic, they would have figured it out by now. So I have no idea. It's not THAT important, but it's there.
but anyways,
I think it's perfectly normal to ask questions. It's human nature.
I wanted to know why some people had green eyes, and some people had blue eyes, and I got an answer that made sense. just like hair color. the answers make sense.
but with homosexuality, I've asked the question to myself, but haven't done any research. I'd say it's mainly effected environmentally because I just don't see it being fully genetic, that's too easy.
Ah, I have no idea. it's blows my mind really, so I just accept it and move on.
vahhhht???
oh- tay.... 1)"everyone has those feelings, we just don't act on them"- WTF was going through her head? and if, like my mom, she starts backing up that statement with Dr. Joyce Brothers' Quotes of "...& all human kind has homoEROTIC feelings at one point,or other,but this does not make one homoSEXUAL..." i would just say "oh, and what would Dr. Brothers' responce be if you add in the fact that the person I am 'crushing' on is: devilishly cute, has a very toned body, and would probably be able to write a doctorate thesis in polaski(gay-speak, BTW), as well as english?"
wow...all of you have really
wow...all of you have really really really good points. and don't get me wrong! I LOVE being gay. Honest. It's one of the best things to every happen to me. I love everything about who I am. I just...purely from a phychological standpoint and everything...i wanna know.. but then again i don't. because of the whole point of "cures".
thanks for all your input you guys, it's sooo appreciated :)