Hmmm so I was meant to be hanging out with K today; we were gonna hang out at a playground then head back to my place and curl up and watch a movie and make out. And it's Valentine's Day and I was planning on being all clichéd and giving him a rose from my mums garden. But now he's sick, last night he mentioned feeling a bit queasy and cold and stuff, and now he's worse. Hope he's alright =7. But meh i guess life's just a bitch sometimes I guess.
Another thing shaping up to be a bitch this year is school. It's my own fault really. I have a completely full timetable, no free periods at all. I'm stupid I know. It seemed like a good idea at the time; I couldn't decide which ones i most wanted to do, so I just did all of them. I think part of me knows I'm setting myself up for stress, a lot of stress; and maybe Glandular Fever or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or something like that.
I think I may be a compulsive high achiever. I think it comes from being told continuously since I was maybe 7 or so that I'm bright, or smart, or gifted, or that I can do anything if I put my mind to it. It's quite annoying really.
Maths is going to be my greatest enemy this year, I'm already stuck. I just look at the text book and cry. I used to really love maths as a kid. Now I hate it, but fortunately after this year I'm done. Well I could just drop it now; I mean I've already done more maths than most people get up. But no I won't let myself do that; like I said compulsive high achiever.
Also other than maths I really do like all my other subjects and do sort of have to do maths for later on; so I guess I'll just have to drop one of the subjects I actually like, Biology probably, if I find I need to cut down on my workload. Or I could just quit my job, or say I'm not going to be in the musical this year, or drop out of concert band, or stage band, or choir, or debating. But no I won't do that, it does seem quite intimidating when I put it all on paper like that though. Any I guess I've only been back at school a week so far, so I should probably give it some time to see how I go. I must seem like a terribly boring person. But I'm not...honest.