My dear Oasis friends,
For some time now, I've been asking myself whether or not I truly belong on Oasis, and whether the potential harm my presence might do here isn't actually far outweighing the good. My ego would like to think that I am playing an important and valuable role here, but when forced to take a serious look at myself through the eyes of others, I see how easy it would be for me to just become "that creepy old guy who hangs out on the gay teen site". That would be a disasterous thing for me, the site, and most importantly... for you.
Jeff doesn't have the same issues I have, not only because this place is his creation, but also because he has a wonderful ability to maintain a certain level of detachment and not to let himself get all rattled and torn up over things (or else he does a brilliant job of hiding it). Not so with me. I am too emotional for that. l've come to love many of you just as I would my own children. I feel your pain as if it were my own, and I allow myself to grow closer to you than I should. I thought that offering you unconditional love would help to give you something solid to stand on while you dealt with all the rest of life's messes, but I also wanted you to trust me enough to be able to tell me the things that you couldn't tell your parents. In trying to fill both roles, I'm afraid I've succeeded only in fashioning myself into something of a silly caricature.
This is no one's fault but my own, so don't anyone go blaming yourself for this. I've just come to realize the potential harm I could cause by being too open with my feelings and my affection for you, and unfortunately, I just don't have the ability to change that. As much as I'd like to believe I've helped some of you, the thought that I might seriously hurt or damage just one kid, or in any way jeopardize this wonderful place, makes the risk far too great for me to take. So I have decided to end my formal role here as an Oasis admin and advisor. It's not an easy choice for me, and I know it won't be without regret, but it seems like the safest decision for everyone involved. My account will still be here, but I have already terminated my admin status and turned off all PMs and notifications. Of course, I'll still keep an eye on you all. I won't be logging on anymore, but if you look down at who's online, sometimes I'll be one of those guests (I call them ghosts), just popping by to see what all of you are up to.
My books will still be out there. I'll continue creating heroes like Rokey and Flaskamper for GLBT young people to identify with for as long as I can still type (dictate, activate my implanted brain chip, or whatever). I'll also always offer free e-copies of all my books to Oasis members. From now on, just contact me through my Chronicles of Firma website's "feedback" page, mention your Oasis member name, and tell me what book you want. As soon as I verify that you're a member, I'll email you a link to your book of choice.
I love you all so much, and will miss you terribly. I hope you can understand why I am doing this. It was a very, VERY difficult decision, but in the end, I recognized the fact that Oasis was here and thriving long before I came along, and will continue to do so for a long time after me. I found that to be an enormous comfort.
Love and hugs to all,