I wish I felt better
I wish I felt better. But that would just be selfish, because I don't imagine that it's considered suitable to feel good, after a funeral. Perhaps it would have been slightly more pleasant if it hadn't rained, but i suppose some would consider it somewhat fitting.
I suppose I would have to say the funeral itself was nice, as far as these things go that is. Even though I drove (well dad drove) a total of 5 hours today to be there. I could try and come up with some better phrase but I will just say I feel like shit and I do.
The whole day today I wished I could see K. K being that gorgeous boy I'm into at present. Today I felt bad for a lot of people, namely my dad and my pop's wife. But no one really asked how I was. And it would have been nice to have someone ask, and someone to hold onto and hold me. In other words K.
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Comments
It's not selfish, it's
It's not selfish, it's totally understandable. You don't really have to wallow in misery just because you think it's the right thing to do. sure, have your mourning period, but then put it behind you. that's probably the healthiest way to deal with it.
but that's just my own experiences with funerals.
T.T
YOUR STEALING MY EMO-NESS!!!! GIVE IT BACK! Serously tho, it is natural to feel like shit on these ocasions. it is healthy to feel bad, but when you've mourned enough(and only you will know when that is) you need to put the past behind you. don't forget tho, never forget the ones you love who have loved you.
Shadow, there is more than
Shadow, there is more than enough Emo-ness to go around. Just pop in some Dresden Dolls or Linkin Park and you'll have it all back in no time with interest (or perhaps apathy would be a more appropriate word).
Blue, how one feels at/after a funeral is a personal thing, and as much a product of one's culture as anything else. Ever been to an Irish wake? It's a total party. We've come to think of mourning as something we do for the dead, when in fact, it's entirely for ourselves. After all, the dead have rejoined the universe, and are either floating up there someplace with God, Yahweh, Allah, Zeus, Gaia, or whomever one chooses to believe in....or not. Either way, they aren't likely to be watching us to make sure we're sufficiently miserable. So there's nothing wrong with wishing that you felt better, or even trying to cheer yourself up. In time, it is usually the happy memories of the people we've lost that stay with us, so to me, the sooner you can focus on and celebrate the fact that they lived, rather than mourn the fact that they died, the better it is all around.
It takes time. Allow yourself the time you need, but don't feel you have to take more time than you need.
Hugs,
Pat
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- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay & lesbian characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"