Ok I have to get this off my chest even if it makes me sound kind of horrible. So I have known I am gay for years now, but I was never really sure if I could rule out being bi. Then a few months ago one of my good friends (a guy)who is on my team asked me out and I said yes just to try it out. The thing is after we went on the first date I knew there was no way I could like guys, but I just kept saying yes because I didn't want to be mean. soon he was telling everyone that I was his girlfriend and I hated it, so I finally ended it. He really really liked me and I feel so horrible for doing that to him, especially for leading him on. He seemed really upset. What's more I think a main reason I first agreed to it was because there is hardly anyone out at our school, so I was desperate for a relationship. I just let it get out of control. We are slowly regaining our friendship, but I can't forgive myself for that. I feel like I don't deserve any kind of relationship for a while :( to make things worse my mom knew something was wrong and I ended up coming out to her. I feel like I wasn't ready at all and she has completely ignored the fact ever since. sorry for ranting about this. I know people have a lot bigger problems, but I just had to tell some one that.