I was dreaming of you last night.
Dreaming you were the covers all around me-
I was wrapped in something safe
maybe your smile
maybe in not needing to smile so much.
I dreamed of you and it was a dream
where I could sleep,
and I was told, “You’ve been saved.”
I’ve written too many poems about saving someone else
too many poems called “Being in Love.”

I’m not in love.
I’m killing time.
Let’s go smash clocks,
as the springs unwind
maybe you’ll find me.
If not,
I hope you know even though I woke not ready to be with you,
last night I was wishing for us.
Last night,
I was carving love into my chest
so my heartbeat could kiss it and hopefully
remember how.
Each hour, I want to spend the moments between minutes with you
but my pulse beats seconds of forgetting
Don’t forget me.

I’ve been tracing telephone wires toward Hades-
I wanted you behind me.
I pretended we belonged on Olympus but
you followed me down here
I can’t escape this underworld alone
So open the box and release the demons from my ribcage.

If I hadn’t glanced over my shoulder,
I know you’d still be following me with every intention
of introducing me to Apollo with every intention
of launching a thousand ships to rescue me
I’m not a soldier.
More of my heartbeat is pounding past love every moment
more of my heartbeat wants to pour through the 4-letter neon sign that reads,
“This is one of the weak ones.”
I’ve been trying to bleed myself away discreetly
all the while praying you’ll find the map
that will lead you to the place I carved love into my veins
carved love into each blue-faced bloated artery.
Each blood cell knows it now
I’m still trying to remember how
I’m trying to remember how
I’m trying to remember.