painting songs.

the_loser's picture

I am an oxymoron. My month of pure happiness, of contedness has ended. That was a while ago. I'm not sad, I'm not glad, I am ok with it. In that month, I did NOTHING. Haha, I never did anything, all I did was lay around or surf the net for hours on end doing absolutely nothing in particular. I watched about 2 movies in that month. TWO! I am a movie fanatic and I remember a time where I watched two movies every night, of course that was summer, but still! I never read. There was no new music. It was the same songs over, and over, and over. I was happy though. It's not like I was dwelling in my thoughts the entire time. They say when you are depressed you slowly start losing interest in everything. It is the opposite for me. When I get depressed, sure sometimes I don't do things, but most of the time I spend doing those things just to get my mind off it. Like now, I can tell I've been slightly blue lately but at the same time I have started to do the things I love. I'm writing again. I'm watching movies. I've read a few books. I'm playing games. Everything. It's all coming back. In fact, I'm glad it's finally coming back, even if I have to deal with the mood swings and intense emotions I get from day to day. I'm glad that I am doing something with my time, and not wasting it doing nooooooooooooooothing! It's almost a relief. No, it is a relief. Eventually whatever is plaguing me will pass, but I'm not in a rush right now. I am enjoying my time. I am being productive. Hurray for productivity!