Haha whenever I try hard at something it feels like I just get shot down. Like in school when you think you did a fantastic job and you find out you actually just got a C, I mean FUCK, D: I hate when that happens. I've learned to do what's expected and nothing more. When I do that things turn out pretty well. I wish I could say the same in social situations. Too bad I try hard sometimes. Too bad I tried to make someone feel better and felt like tearing out my heart just to spare them the pain but was completely utterly helpless. Too fucking bad I can't do a thing or feel appreciated for caring more than ever.
It's too fucking bad though that it won't get me down.
I just bought a ton of candy. Tomorrow is the last full day of school. I just started a great book. Things are looking mighty dandy if I do say so myself. It's getting so much easier to fend off these stupid depressing bouts that have been happening. It's getting so much easier to push it away. It's getting easier to stop caring. I feel like my old self again. The one that was pretty isolated but totally loving it and had everything that I wanted or needed. Maybe it's the music. I've been listening to these old mix cds I made years ago, it brings back memories. It's the nice hard rock I use to love. Not this dumb soft shit that has been in my head.
I'm excited to get back where I left off.