Today's pool of name replacements have been taken from the popular American sitcom "Frasier".
Gil Chesterton here.
I have a friend-who's-a-girl named Daphne who has (what seems like) a long history of being on the nasty end of unreciprocated infatuation.
Her most recent little crush was on Niles, the guy who helped with the lighting in our musical production of A Christmas Carol.
Two months, lots of internet chatting, lots of suspense and a couple helpful nudges from friends later, Niles is asking Daphne out on a date, and I'm absolutely, euphorically gobsmacked about it all.
I'm so happy for her I could write a musical number about it.
Seriously, though, alternatively I'm so jealous I could spit.
My inner monologue on the subject of Daphne has split into two personalities. For your entertainment, I've taken the liberty of writing down a transcript:
"Isn't this wonderful? Daphne is dating somebodies!"
"Steewpid fat Daphnes...why must we be happys for HER!"
"Because Daphne is our friend!"
"NO!!! She has what we WANTSES!!"
"Why are you so mean and nasty all the time, can't we be happy for--"
And it just sort of goes on like that.
What we wantses not being Niles in particular, rather, you know, somebody in the next five years.
On a completely different track, I think it's disgusting and sexist that they only show women wearing underwear in flyers.
I demand equal exposure for men.