why does everyone have this stereotypical idea that lesbians are ugly
#1) im at a football game with some friends and this SEXY girl (I call her perfect( well i used to, then my gf found out in bitched about it for a while) cuz i dont know her name but damn shes sooooo soooo hot i swear) walks by with her GF and my friends are all like "she's too hot to be gay" and im like "WHAT? u have to be ugly to be gay?...wat does that make me?" and they're like thats not what i meant and i just droped it cuz we're at a football game....
#2) the other day my GF (my own gf) asked me if i was sure that i'm a lesbian because im "freakin hot" and could pull some pretty cute guys if i wanted to ....wat the hell....
#3) guys ask me out often and when i tell them im a lesbian they're like "really, you don't look like a lesbian" im like excuse me and they're like ur just not how i picture lesbians...
ahhh its annoying!!!
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Comments
as to #3, they're guys, what
as to #3, they're guys, what can you expect? they want to get in your pants, and they think you'll like being told you look straight (whatever that means) (and no offense to the guys on here, i'm just stereotyping)
as for the rest of it...your GF sounds insecure, like she thinks you're too attractive to be with her. and/or, that might just be her way of complimenting you.
it does sound like it'd be annoying...even though you could see it all as compliments.
Bulldyke
"this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart" e.e. cummings
Well...
I don't think it's really pretty/ugly, but that a lot of lesbians stop being feminine. So, less/no makeup, let the hair flow into the pits/legs, baggy clothes that don't accentuate the body, etc., and in a world with a fixed notion of what feminine beauty ideals ought to be, rejecting them is not tolerated. So, they jump to "ugly."
That said, I do think it sometimes goes too far. I mean, rejecting the feminine ideal doesn't really mean you have to drift all the way to the lumberjack/janitor side of the spectrum... does it? Political correctness or not, I can go down the street to the lesbian bar and see more flannel in one place than Kurt Cobain ever wore in his short lifetime.
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Yeah but honey, they're not
Yeah but honey, they're not wearing it for you.
I dunno...
I feel like some lesbians will do this to "fit in" with the "lesbian crowd" by "fitting in" with that stereotype, which just reinforces said stereotype.
That being said, just the other day I overheard "why are all the hot chicks lesbians?", so...
: )
What's attractive to men
What's attractive to men isn't necessarily attractive to women.
I think men are conditioned from early childhood to finding a particular type of girl attractive- they're told what pretty girls are by society. Take a stroll around the National Gallery to see this ideal changes over time.
Lesbians obviously grow up with the same models of what 'pretty' means, but the conditioning towards finding those models attractive is less intense because society was expecting them to like guys.
Heterosexually speaking conventionally attractive for a woman is 'feminine'. Although again, the attributes considered feminine are subject to change.
Women who want to be attractive modify behaviour and appearance to fit this, sometimes consciously and sometimes not.
And since sleeping with men is key part of the definition of what it is to be feminine, once you do away with that part it's easier to look critically at the other expectations of femininity and chose which to reject.
She's right. I'm a feminist,
She's right. I'm a feminist, but I was raised in this society, so I know that women are supposed to be perfect. Like, symmetrical, round breasts, etc. Stupid things. You know what that does to girls? Makes them hate themselves. It's sad. See, my being gay, I have really started to see women in a different light. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I think my bestest best friend no.2 Q, is VERY beautiful. She is not considered beautiful by a rather perverted friend of mine. I don't find her attractive, duh, but I think that she really is a very pretty person. Same with my other friend, Tiffany. She is sligtly overweight, but there is something about her that allows people to ignore that. Perhaps this is because I don't find the "Pretty" girls or "Ugly" girls attractive, but I find that who the person is really affects their beauty.
Written lovingly for you, yes, ONLY you,
WantsOut
I agree. People have this
I agree. People have this idea that lesbians have to be butch or ugly. People say to me that i dont look like a lesbian. Well how are they meant to look.
People stereotype too much these days.
I think society shows straight girls as hot attractive 'babes' and lesbian girls as well butch or kinda ugly. Because this is how they are portrayed i think people get that idea in their heads.
It is the same with homosexual men, about them being very fem.
I hate stereotypes.
AUGH! I hate that
AUGH! I hate that steriotype. The effeminate homosexual men thing? AARGH!!! EVERY TIME I COME OOUT THEY MAKE THIS COMMENT:
"You don't act gay."
"That's because most of us DON't act like girls."
"No, you just aren't letting your gayness come out."
That was a real conversation I had.
Written lovingly for you, yes, ONLY you,
WantsOut
I think a lot of people do
I think a lot of people do have this stereotypical idea of what a lesbian should look like. I think I may have harboured this steroetype too until I started to meet other lesbians at college. I am yet to meet one that I could look at and think yep she is a dyke. That said I don't even fit into the stereotype that I seemed to have harboured about lesbians. I have long hair, I love make-up and am generally fairly feminine. I think it does make it a little more funny when I come out to someone and they look at me with shock coz I don't look like their idea of a dyke.
p.s sorry if this comment makes no sense its 2.30 and i've been drinking.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt
I don't think most guys
I don't think most guys stereotype what a lesbian looks like. I don't and i know my friends don't we all know and have known lesbians that looked like every other typical girl both good looking and not so good looking and then some which looked like tom boys. I can see why you'd be upset but really most guys don't judge a girl's sexuality based on her looks. I've seen female escorts get pissed at guys for thinking they were lesbians just for the job they were doing.