Alright. So, earlier today I was watching Ellen Degenerous' talk show with my mom. It was a repeat of the first episode of this season that had Michelle Obama on it. So, anyways I had noticed that the whole time that Michelle Obama was on she never congratulated Ellen on her marriage. Now, you have to remember that this was the first episode Ellen taped since getting married. So, I found it a bit odd but I also thought that it maybe had to do with the fact that I read somewhere that Barack Obama is against gay marriage. So, possibly his wife Michelle is also against it so she wouldn't congratulate Ellen because she doesn't believe it's right....or something along those lines.
So, I decided to bring that up so, I say to my mom "she never congratulated Ellen on her marriage. She congratulated her for her show's move to a new studio but she didn't say anything about her marriage. I guess maybe that's because Barack is against gay marriage....at least I read that somewhere. So, maybe that's why. Maybe it's because she feels the same way" My moms like "I don't know". Then what does she say? "Well, I'm sick of all the gays shoving it (gay marriage) down our throats" And for once I had a gut reaction and something to say and I wasn't afraid to say it either...it was sorta weird but really nice too. I said: "Well, I'm not. I mean, they deserve to have rights just like us. They deserve to get married just like everybody else. I don't see the problem." then she said "Well, look what happened it got revoked" Me: "Yeah, but that's not fair. You can't just give people rights and then take them away. They wouldn't do that to other people. It's dumb"....It basically went like that. Probably more smoothly then how I typed it but basically it went like that....and it shut her up:)
I don't hate my mom. I don't dislike her. We are actually really close. She just needs to get the facts straight sometimes. But I'm telling you that if she doesn't know that I'm gay after the the way I said those things today then wow! I mean really. I don't think there's many bigger hints then that. 1)We don't even live in the states 2)I rarely talk about political issues about my own country(Canada), let alone issues that are happening in another country 3) As far as she knows I don't have a single gay friend or really any knowledge of gay issues.....So, basically why would I care about gay people being able to be married at all??? Unless, of course I'm gay.
Anyways, I guess I'm trying to soften the blow one little hint at a time. BTW I was smiling after I said those things today, I was kinda proud of myself that I just said how I felt. And that I let it be known that I think that gay people deserve the same as straight people and everything. So, maybe she'll think a little bit more about it and maybe eventually agree. Or, she'll finally realize that I'm gay. Either way it's cool.
I also think that I might actually blurt it one of these days. I swear, I felt really good just saying the things that I did today, that I might just do it at one point. I think that I'm coming more to terms with my mom knowing. I've been doing a lot of thinking in the past week and I'm just becoming more sure of myself and more sure of everything. It's weird cause I felt so weird about it last week but now I don't know, I feel good about it. So, you never know. I might just do it one of these times, it's still a bit scary but maybe.