You better get moving, you only have 20 days...

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"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment." - Rumi

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This is to WantsOut specifically, but Riku, most of it applies to you too, and to anyone else who is pining for a relationship.

I assume you're refering to the school year, which does give you a bit more time. Unfortunately, a desperate need for something does not often make it magically appear (well, there was that Big Wheel when I was 8, but that was definitely the exception to the rule). In fact, desperation most often leads to mistakes in judgment, which can result in heartbreak later on. I realize it's difficult to focus on what I'm going to say with your hormones raging away inside you, but I'll give it a shot anyway. Life is full of other things to enjoy besides romance - like friends, hobbies, volunteer work - things that build self-esteem so that you are happier being yourself and not so needful of a relationship in order to validate you as a person. Using the good qualities you have in order to give help and love to others is a wonderful way to make the world around you better and to build your confidence up. Once you are happier in your own skin, that desperate need for a boyfriend will diminish, and you'll find it easier to focus on the things that will really make you a better, stronger person later in life.

Relationships will come eventually, but they don't often happen in the blink of an eye. The ones that actually work evolve slowly over time. Look at all that Rokey & Flash have gone through in their relationship already, and you're only on book two. Yes, I know, it's a Fantasy series, but their relationship is based on my own 40+ years of dealing with real-life relationships, and all the pitfalls that go with them. Your time will come, and in the meantime, you'll have lots of flirtations, crushes and yes, probably heartbreaks too. My point in all I've said above is that the more you learn to love yourself, the more you can enjoy this part of your life and not be so devastated when your Prince Charming turns out to be just another confused kid who's also looking for the right path to life.

To conclude, adolescence can be best described in two words: It sucks. Some people can look back on it with fondness later on, but I know of relatively few who really enjoy it at the time. Consider it survival training. Use it to build on those characteristics that will make you into the kind of adult that people will want to be around - helpful, kind, and self-assured. Work on your natural talents, and the things that interest you. Enjoy the fumblings in the dark with other boys, but take them for what they are - practice for what is to come. When the time is right, the real relationships will happen, sweetie, and if you take my advice, you'll be much better prepared for them when they do.

Love and hugs,
Pat

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Please visit my Myspace Profile and add me as a friend.
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- Pat Nelson Childs
"bringing strong gay characters to Sci-Fi & Fantasy"

Thanks everyone, and especially Pat.

Written lovingly for you, yes, ONLY you,

WantsOut