What the hell is wrong with me? I stayed in bed until after 2 today. I should of been up at 8 for college. I skipped classes all day for no good reason. It's not something I would do usually. I am far too much of a nerd for that. I just feel so down and like nothing is ever going to be ok again. I don't even know if it has ever really been ok to start with though.
Telling my mam that I am gay should have been of huge relief. I feel the same though. She has been fine about it, but part of me thinks it's because I haven't really been telling anyone else. She has dropped in a few comments like be careful who you tell, and the other day she asked if I had told one of my friends yet. I said no and she said she might not talk to you again when you do.Why would she say that? Does she think I haven't thought of this!
There is an lgbt meeting at college tomorrow night. After the meeting I think they are going out. I really want to go, but again I am scared. I know I need to stop making such a huge deal of this and just go.I just want to tell everyone that I am gay and be done with this shit. I don't know why I can't.