i just found this site and was looking for a way to figure all of this out
for a long time i have thought that i have been into girls, i've made out with a few randomly, and have found myself checking out girls from time to time
i've never been with a girl or been able to strike up a conversation with anyone
i have been with guys before and had a few serious relationships so i know what that is like, and i do find myself attracted to guys sometimes, but for the last few years, ever since i was in high school (i'm in college now) i have felt that something was wrong and that i wasn't totally happy with my sexuality
i have had some issues in the past with aggressive and abusive relationships so i have a hard time opening up emotionally and making the first move with people
i just want to know how to go about making that move towards meeting girls and just seeing if that is something i am even comfortable with
i just don't know where to start, and i am worried about being called a poser because my mom has alluded to that in the past if i ever brought up being bi or lesbian to her. she once said she would disown me if i ever came out so i don't really have anyone to talk to about it

i just need some advice, some help, maybe a friend
i don't know how this works exactly but if anyone reads this just let me know

thanks <3 sweet dreams