It makes me sad that my first journal entry will be a sad one. But really, what choice do I have? Prop 8 has been passed, and there is now a constitutional ban on same-sex marrages.

I've cried so much today.
I cried myself to sleep last night, and I woke up crying.
I quietly cried quietly through health.
I cried through math, and through english I cried still.
My friends came up to me, and hugged me. Telling me they understood. But they don't. They can't. They won't.
They tell me they know, that they get it.
But they don't. They can't. They won't.
And still I cry.
I don't understand. I don't know why. I can't begin to explain.
They won, we lost, but why is there so much pain?
I thought it would be over,
That this madness would end.
That I'd wake up tomorrow, happy,
Not maddeded by grief instead.
They tell me that they love me, they tell me they understand.
But they don't. They can't. They won't.
And here I am sitting in the darknes all alone.
Crying.