If anyone has a cure for absolute crippling shyness please send it on this way! I feel like I need to write a journal to cleanse my mind a little bit...but at the same time I am trying not to over analyze things right now either.

The last couple of weeks I have been attending my lgbt meetings at college. I am glad that I have been going, but at the same time I seem to become really shy and awkward at them, and go really really quiet. Last night I went out with a few of them to a gay bar. I was kind of reluctant about going, but one of the girls that runs the society was really enthusiastic to get me to come along, so I didn't want to be rude. It was an ok night and I am happy that I went...but at the same time feeling a little cringe worthy about it. I was just so shy and awkward.

I used to be horribly shy, especially growing up. But in the last couple of years I had really gotten over it. No longer did I dread social situations. Normally when I go out with a group of friends I drink, I dance I have a really good time. But eugh last night I felt a little like I had travelled back in time and I was me several years ago...except this time in a gay bar.

I guess it is something I am just going to have to persevere with. I don't really have much of another option really if I want to actually get to know other gay people. I will stick with it and hope for the best.