I am so so tired today. I went to the Halloween party last night that I mentioned in my previous journal. It was ok, I didn't hate it, but then I didn't think it was a particularly great night either. It was good to go out and socialise with people. It was also kind of interesting, as the topic of being gay and coming-out seemed to crop up a bit.
It was a party with a group of people from work(that sounds kind of formal they are also my friends).One of the guys that used to work with us was there, and since I've seen him last, he has come-out of the closet and living his gay life. It was something everyone always knew about him anyway so nobody really cared when he came-out. It was good to see him being himself and being happy. He looked and seemed so much better than I have ever seen him before.
I got to chatting to one of the other guys that I work with about this guy coming-out and also another guy that I work with who everyone kind of presumes is gay but he hasn't come-out yet. Basically the guy I was chatting to was saying he wishes that the other guy would just come-out simply so he doesn't feel he has to hide that side of himself from us. One of the other girls I work with joined in the conversation and agreed that he should for that same reason. I just found the conversation interesting and reassuring because it showed a side of my friends I hadn't really seen before. I didn't think they were that cool with the whole gay thing.
I also found this whole thing interesting because I really don't think that any of them suspect me of being gay at all. I felt a little uncomfortable about that, in that I hope when I do tell them they don't think back to the conversation and feel weird about having had this conversation with me.But here I go again worrying about things beyond my control.I have to stop doing that!!