It is a sort of fuck you
I don't know why but my mother just seems to refuse to give me praise for anything I do well.She does however jump at the nearest opportunity to point out a fault.I don't know why at this point in my life I still on some level seek her approval, but I do.
She also seems to think everyone else is better than me or my bro or sis.She constantly tells me how great my cousins are and all the great things that they do.
I guess a positive thing to take from it is that it does give me some extra drive to do things really well, as a sort of fuck you to her.
Otherwise my day has been pleasant.That is all.
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Comments
Just take it as a means of
Just take it as a means of motivation. I dunno, just don't let it bother you too much. I used to feel that way, then stopped caring, so now my mom has backed off a bit.
Just take it as a means of
Just take it as a means of motivation. I dunno, just don't let it bother you too much. I used to feel that way, then stopped caring, so now my mom has backed off a bit.
Your mother...
From what I read, she seems kind of insecure about herself and needs to compare you to your cousins (and possibly herself). In fact, you're not the one that needs her approval, she's the one that needs your faults to justify her napoleon complex or self-worth.
It's not cool, but it makes her very human. Don't bother with it though... really. It's not worth it.
Why use that to make you do
Why use that to make you do better? That's lame. That's not self-achievement.
Yeah, because turning a
Yeah, because turning a negative into a positive is such a lame thing to do. You don't know what you're talking about.
Except for the fact that the
Except for the fact that the mother will never truly be satisfied. She's not angry at the person because the person hasn't succeeded enough; she's angry at herself and her own problems. However well the person does, the mother won't be satisfied. All that comes from this situation is emotional damage. Like with my father, who took 15+ years to recover from. Or my uncle, who still hasn't recovered from it.
And you know what? You're lame.
Azul you are lame.The only
Azul you are lame.The only time you ever comment on people's journals is to put them down or say something to big yourself up. I've noticed this with you ages ago but decided to ignore it.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt
I dunt see how my comment
I dunt see how my comment prior to this was all that bad. The person reacted with sarcasm. "Repeat: Sarcasm is the worst form of communication", that's what my English teacher said. How am I supposed to react? With a thank-you? Ignoring it? I do that kind of stuff in life too much.
And I just wanna say I'm sorry if I may be an asshole sometimes. All I can say is that I'm human. I wear a lot of my emotions on my sleeve. But, I just want to know, have I really been that negative and stuck-up? I seem to make those mistakes a lot...
Well to start off your first
Well to start off your first comment on my journal was to say that I am lame.Then when Kaj responded defending my reasoning, you then called Kaj lame in your response.There have been other times you have commented on my journal that you have seemed a little arrogant.To give an example, I posted a journal several months ago when I was very worried over exams and study expressing my concens about it.You responded to the journal telling me about how much you like exams and how well you always do in them.That really isn't something that a person needs to hear when their own academic life is going down the toilet.It's a little inconsiderate, don't you think?
But I do accept your apology. I don't wish to have any negative feelings on here with anyone.I also don't want to seem like I am having a go at you here either. I am just answering you honestly.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt
I usually post things when
I usually post things when I'm tired... Or border line tired. Unlike some people, I don't get happy or excited when I'm tired (god damn them...), I get pissed off, angry, irritable and arrogant a lot of the time (learned thing, from my father. See a theme developing?)...
But, I'm so sorry I've been an asshole! I feel so horrible.
I accept your apology, and
I accept your apology, and respect you for it. If it has been a case of you saying this stuff and not realising how negative it was, I don't think you should be beating yourself up about it.It has been brought to your attention and you are sorry.If it was a case where you were aware of it and did it anyway then you should feel horrible.But since it wasn't,don't feel so horrible.
I have to log off now.I hope that there will be no hard feelings between us on here.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt
Yea, I think the cycle of me
Yea, I think the cycle of me apologizing and you accepting is due to be over...
Grown ups are talking, love.
Grown ups are talking, love.
I like you, but sometimes you should learn to keep schtum.
The Ghost...
Also, you shouldn't try and achieve things just to prove something to your mother. Nothing wrong with striving high, but she shouldn't be your motivation or incentive.
You're transferring your negative situation with your mother into your drive to aim high, which can be good - but in the long run it's self-defeating if you're not doing it for yourself.
Aaah, so many contradicting
Aaah, so many contradicting ideas. Anyway, just be yourself and do what you want, no matter what others say. Such a lame cliche statement, but it's true.
Thanks Uncertain, Kaj and
Thanks Uncertain, Kaj and Toph for your comments.They are very much appreciated.
To Azul to clarify I said I use her attitude as some EXTRA drive to do well.Not the sole purpose of wanting to do better.If you are going to comment on my journal can you actually read the whole thing right through.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt
My grandmother is an
My grandmother is an absolute cunt sometimes; you can never appease her. Yet, my father and his brothers have gone through life trying to. It's ended in failure. As a result, my father become a heavy drug user, ran away from home at 17, never finished high school, voluntarily checked into a mental hospital in California and eventually got a GED. Then he married my mother. My father took out the frustration he got with his mother out on my mother.
I know that may be an extreme example... but the point is, using her for drive can cause a whole lot of hurt.
it's okay,
my mom always compares me to people, like my sister, my friends, her friend's kids, etc. it's annoying :-(
i want to achieve things to please myself, not my mom... but you can never really get away from the impact of your parents' approval/disapproval, especially if you live with your parents (like i do).
Hey ghosty, nothing more
Hey ghosty, nothing more normal than wanting parental approval. I'll never get my dad to say anything nice about me. I can't recommend anything, maybe we'll all grow out of it.
I think you're lovely though, so I'm glad your day was otherwise pleasant.