So this year I'm going to a new school... again. Hah. This one I'm actually infatuated with. I love it. It's amazing. I've met so many new people, and I met a guy... This sounds so cliche, but from the moment I saw him, I knew he was looking at me-- I was looking at him too. A few days passed, and all we did was sniff each other's butt and see what was up... Eventually, my friend reveals to him that I'm gay, and he tells her that he likes "to have sex with guys but not date". Cool, right? Of course since I'm young, I've known him for a bought a week, and I already think I'm in love. He picks up a little on it, and we end up hooking up. It gets a bit more serious, and a few days pass before I convince him that he has feelings for me...

Yesterday we went to a movie and then his house. We hooked up throughout the whole movie. Mamma Mia was fucking terrible. I gagged whenever I turned away from him to watch the movie. Skip a few more hours of foreplay, and we're sitting his room, naked. Well, we have really quick sex, and this is my first time having anal sex... It was so terrible. Well, not the sex, but I just... hated the feeling after having it. I didn't want to look at him. I felt like I didn't like him at all from the beginning, and I was finally realizing that I actually hated his personality. We had nothing in common. Hanging out with him as friends wasn't so bad, but I think he wants me now more than I wanted him... I'm so confused. He's everything I wanted... So today I smoked three bowls with a friend, talked about him, watched My Neighbor Totoro , talked about the meaning of life. oh yeah, and after I left his house, he texts me "I'm so drunk right now"

I wanted to crawl in a hole and die, and I don't feel any better now...

Oh yeah, and I get to go to catholic church youth group totally stoned in 40 minutes.