Good Friend in Question...
Well everyone here’s what my therapist said: He said, basically, that I should lower the status of my good friend because my good friend doesn’t value me as much as I value him. He said that because I value him more than he values me there’s an unbalance in our friendship. I consider my good friend to be my best friend but my therapist said that I shouldn’t place that status on him because my good friend obviously can’t meet those standards for me.
My good friend told me himself that I’m third on his list of best friends. He apparently has three real close friends, maybe more. If he has more best friends then I’m unaware of them. I know he has other friends but not bestest best friends. When he first told me that I was third on this list of his I was initially disappointed because I feel like I should mean much more to him. It would appear that I don’t though. However, I then started to think that I should be grateful to even be on his list…then my therapist went and told me what he told me today.
What do you guys think? I mean finding new friends is not my forte, it’s basically an impossible dream. So, that being said what exactly would you do?
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Comments
I think your therapist is a
I think your therapist is a fucking asshole. He actually told you that?
The basis of practicing psychology is to be an unbiased listener. To do this, most psychologists take the route of being extremely interested, yet disinterested. They really want to know what you feel, but what ever you doesn't matter to them. After all, the practice of psychology is only for self improvement, nothing more (I know, bullshit right? I wanted a magical pink pill that made all my problems go away).
It seemed to me that your psychologist was imperative. You never want to be imperative in psychology. That stops self improvement, because he's telling you what to do. That would make it non-self improvement (tricky, huh?). He in fact should suggest things and at the very most makes comments.
And remember, it's always your choice in psychology. They don't make you better, you make yourself better (not that you have an illness, but better as in self improve). After all, he's not paying you, you're paying him. You're the employer!
Eh...
I stick with my previous assessment, which is that you have less friends and he has more friends. So, you are both possibly giving your friends equal time. If you have three good friends, and try to give them 33% of your time, it will not work if your friend has five friends who get 20% of his time.
If you thought of this person as your best friend, then I'd agree. You don't tend to have to vie for attention with a best friend, but otherwise, it's a free for all.
For someone who overthinks already, is therapy really going to help? That's not typically a path AWAY from overthinking things through...
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