I dared to want, desire, feel, be happy. In these last two weeks, I've been somehow content, whether in solitude or with company.

Awesome, right? Ha, no. Sadness, being a feeling, follows suit. I guess it's caught up with me now. It always does, when I start acting within what I perceive as being within 'proper social constraints' instead of doing what I want. Or when I start desiring something that is impossible to attain. It may be as simple as some plans being canceled, as well as then deciding on not calling an acquaintance you wanted to see (because you have no idea whether they'll appreciate the phone call). Or an act you see on stage being so enticing that you wish they'd take you home at the end of the night. Silly fun things that come back to haunt me once I'm already weak.

I guess it doesn't matter which city I live in, whether my family is close by, and whether I am doing something I love. I don't know exactly why, but often when a few moments to spare catch up with me, I'm screwed... nor do I want to be one of those people who keep themselves super-busy just to avoid having to look in to the pit of despair, or having the darkness engulf them. Geh.

Alright, enough of that; I might as well get something done today, if only to spite time and fate.

:S