First of all,i want to thank all those who commented on my last journal.
You guys are amazingly sweet and concerned.The fact that ya'll reached out for advising me,in itself,is very honouring.
Now,as Lol-taire told me,i went to a local near by pharmacy and asked for an emergency contraceptive.She said she dint have any,but she started asking me a few questions. Quite intimidating,actually. But i answered them,nevertherless because i knew she meant well.
Ultimately,i realised myself,that his cock had'nt really gone INTO my vagina. I think i moved or somethng.I duno.I re-checked this with him,and he agreed saying i never let him fuck me "properly".Plus he also said he never was close to ejaculation also.So maybe he never really "pre ejaculated".Maybe it was my natural lubricant. In my haste and tension,i forgot what actually took place.
But c'mon,its freaky for a seventeen year old,right? And he's 18. He was quite freaked too. But the pharmasist told me that i can only find out for sure if im pregnant in a week or two[pregnancy test]. And i have this CycleCalculator installed in my laptop. According to it,29th of march was not a fertile day for me at all.
So going by all this,im a bit more relaxed than earlier. I make sense to myself now. I have a gut feeling im NOT preggy. Its just that its the fisrt time ive done ANYTHING without a condom. And to think,Im this huge control/protection freak.
Maybe because even in the midst of so-called passion,i knew deep down we're getting it on without a condom,so i supposedly dint really allow him to fuck me.Besides,it dint feel right.Nothing felt right.From the beginning itself.
And i know i shud have taken proptection if i knew im gona hit it off with him but i was'nt sure myself,deep down,u know? I thought im just gona meet him and come back. Well,at least thats wht my "angel" side thought. My "kinky" side actually wanted to get it on pretty badly with him.I thought my "angel" side would win,but Haha,guess who won?
Its pretty complicated,i know.But Regretted it,Lesson learnt.
That little shake was enough for me to swear off sex without condom EVER!
Now even if you wake me up mid-night,im gona be chanting "Condom Condom Condom"