So well I tried again to tell my parents I am gay, meh, they just stopped coming with me to family therapy. Which really bothers my therapist, but I don't really have the heart to tell her it is only a matter of time before they stop paying and force me to find someone else. But meh I don't really care about what they can do any more. As long as my dad doesn't treat any of my sisters like the punching bag he thought I was, it will be fine. If he tries, I swear he is going to regret ever teaching me how to properly use a knife...(Funny how I always say that but it just ends with me in the psych ward with him saying I attacked without being even provocked, only for my social worker to find me half way through the 5250). Plus I told my parents that the festival this weekend is a for families....but little do they know it is for rainbow families, and my school therapist is going to be there so well that should be fun.

The briliant part is the fact that I can laugh at all of it. I have a couple hundred mg of anti-psych coursing through my veins to make the laughter easy, the sadness hard to come by, and voices hard to hear. I like being able to laugh at all of this. My parents have been a tad meddlesome, ever since the hospital stint last summer. Which is funny because I am 80 miles away from home in college. Which sucked because on my birthday, they freaked when a packaged got delivered to the house from a friend of mine. She sent me a copy of "Lost Girls" by Alan Moore and Melinda Grebbe. Man that set off the preachy catholic parent alarms off. It didn't help that they later caught my middle sister with a Yaoi book. But my birthday got a ton better after I watched the Queer Fashion Show at my school. And when I came back to my dorm, I had an e-mail waiting for me from the girl I've had a crush on since i was a HS frosh, she wanted to take me to dinner.

Dinner was nice we went to a pizza place/brewery that we use to go to in HS, when we got their my middle sister was there with almost all my friends which was really nice. It was fun we spent the whole night talking about how nutty our parents are and how even though most of us are away for college, they still find a Way....felt bad for my Second Semester Senior friends who looked totally crestfallen at the news of such a thing. The gifts were all nice. But I loved what the girl I am crazy for made for me. She found out that when I came home from the hospital, I freaked out because my mom washed my beddings which I was a bit overprotected of ever since the girl I am crazy for slept in them. She made me a blanket out of microplush and fleece which are the two materials I spazz over. She got the fleece in the pattern of our school skirt and the microplush was the color of my high school jacket (She had a letterman jacket, I had this fleece jacket that was for the girls they sent out to the middle schools and tried to convince girls to come to our HS). That was last week.

It was funny because a few months ago, I had a wierd moment where suddenly the world stopped spinning (The world always spinns underneath my feet can't help it.) And my heart just dragged out a beat a lot longer then it should. I knew something was wierd in my world. The girl I am crazy for went for a dabble into the world of dating boys. Man I drove me nuts after I got confirmation. But I met the guy, I knew something was off when I saw him because he looked like the older boy who got kicked out of scouts for shooting at a bird on the range, but he said he was our age. i knew he was 23, I told her to watch out. She laughed at first, but he ended up becoming overly possessive and she dumped him. But he wouldn't stop following her, it ended with us girls doing what we do best. Make sure the damn guy doesn't come back (we don't kill them....we just chase them around when they are inebriated or high off their ass until they can't walk anymore for the night). It lasted for a month...which I drowned my sorrows in with the new series of Doctor Who and Torchwood both of which has a new refreshing idea for sci-fi....LGBT PEOPLE!!! I remember loving to watch Doctor Who late at night when I was little, but my goth Russell T. Davies added new life to the show.

But for now I feel great, and i am happy with that.