That's my new facebook religion. Facebook religions are so interesting to me, what people put and why. I think it says a lot about our generation as a whole. A generation of extreme opposites, those who know (or think they know) and then those who put stupid, insignificant things like me to hide their true doubt.

I really have nothing against religion in fact I envy and respect people who have it, in certain instances of course. Those being, I have more respect for people who have struggled with their faith and have have doubted it then those who are just a product of their parents or their culture. My view on faith is basically what Kierkegaard says in Fear & Trembling: faith like life is struggle and full of anguish. You take a leap of faith in fear and trembling but by doing this your closer to god. I haven't done that yet, perhaps some day I will. I'm just so tired of being jaded and not caring, I want a cause, I want a god, or at least something t care about.

I gave up smoking today, for at the very least the summer and the very most for good. I was never really that addictive or anything, the only time it will be hard is when I'm out on the weekends. But its just a really stupid thing to do to your heath, i mean we only have 70-80 good years anyway so why shorten it. Anyways that's my main goal right now.

This year was so weird for me. I love the friends I made and such but i feel really lazy. I've always (at least partly) defined myself by my grades and this year my grades aren't bad but their certainly not good. It's just weird, I'm not gonna lie, I realize that the university I'm in is hard and I barely got in, the people (including my friends) are all just so smart sometimes it terrifies me to even speak or voice my opinions. I'm sure I'll get over it, i guess i already have for the most part, but it still lingers here and there.

I'll be staying here for the summer because I'm taking a sumer course, I plan to double major and to graduate on time, its summer classes for me. The regina spektor song summer in the city keeps playing through me head, such a beautiful song. Perhaps this summer will bring change, perhaps this summer will be unforgettable. I hate sounding so passive, but right now I'm just so tried from this year. I go right into sumer classes after my last exam, and i have no energy to try and make a change right now.

This is just late night rambling instead of studying for my psych exam.