Monday, May 19, 2008, 1:06 AM

Ok so I know that its late (early technically) and that I’m probably doing myself in cause I’ve got class at eight in the morning and I have to wake up at six am to get there on time but I just happen to have so many things running through my head.

For starters I feel kind of stupid, but in a kind good stupid way, if that makes any sense. I basically spent money when I don’t have money, used money that I will have but currently done have. Not a huge amount, but it gets a little worse. My first true friend and I went to see a movie but he didn’t have ANY money so I bought us each a small supper at McDonalds and then paid for his entry fee to the movie we went and saw. He owes me 11 dollars, and he doesn’t have a job, so it will take him forever to get my money back to me and he’ll never really have it when I really need it. Then on top of that when I get money, I’ll have to use it right away to pay back the money I already borrowed, so in effect, I’m still and already broke.

Even worse so, I did this today, Sunday with one of my friends that I’m not that into any more. So when I supposedly FINALLY do something with my good friend tomorrow I will have no money to actually do anything with him if we so decide to do something that might cost money. That means, in case those of you who have been reading, that once again the friend I like most decided not to do anything with me, even though he said “tomorrow.” He said he was really tired and didn’t feel like doing anything. Then later tonight when he called me he asked if I’d like to go running with him tomorrow when we are supposedly and finally going to do something. I told him that I would but then later, with the help of the friend I was with at the time, decided that I should call and tell him that it would not be a wise idea for me to go running with him, after all I would inevitably slow him down, no doubt about it. I NEVER exercise after all, NEVER. If I do it’s just a long walk.

Now I feel bad because even though it is a die hard fact that I would bring him down while running and that I would inevitably complain about my inabilities I still feel like some part of me is letting him down. I mean, he asked if I would run with him. Doesn’t that kinda, at least, mean he wants me to run with him? He said he usually runs eight miles, for an hour at least. There’s no way I could do either or.

I just hope I get to finally do something with him tomorrow and that it is actually fun. I hope that he’ll actually talk to me, about anything and about everything. It’s been so long since we’ve done something after all.

I find that I’m getting a little crazy about everything involving him. I want to do something with him so bad that it drives me down so far every time something changes his mind. I found out why he cancelled on Saturday. Should I be like annoyed that when he called me to cancel that he didn’t even bother to tell me why or what for? Cause I believe that I am, but I also believe that I really shouldn’t be feeling that. Kinda like I’m just spazzing out over something that doesn’t need to be.

There’s a lot more that I could write about but I suppose it all isn’t that important and if it is, it will come out later.

P.S. does anyone think Edumund in the new Narnia movie is cute? I think he’s adorable, but I can totally understand if you might think Peter is better looking, he is what I would call good looking but I don’t know. There’s something about him that I like look wise but feel like he’s lacking when it comes to Edmund. Anyway that’s just a totally random two cent piece I decided to throw out there. Later.