I say "de-personalised" because of the things im doing,but i duno why im doing it.I just feel like im outside my body,and im watching myself make the wrong choices.I want to reach out and tell myself to stop but i cant. Something's holding me back.
I guess u guys do know abt Id,Ego and Super-ego,right? Its all Frued's creations. The 3 levels in Human Personality.
Right now,Id is taking over me.Im doing things without much thought and more concentration on my sexual desires[anythng new?]

Okay,so you know that Ex who ditched me because of her boyfriend?And who i hated and wanted to kill?
Well,i hooked-up with her.
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Uhmm,yeh.I did. Technically,whats been happening is that,im dating this guy[P] who is her boyfriend's best friend.And since then,me and her have been getting really close.As friends.Which led to flirting.Quite harmless,right? Well,not really.because apparently, i got over her by hating her. But what i dint realise is that i AM and always WILL BE attracted to her. She wanted it too...sooo..i gave it to her.Besides,i cant get emotionally attached to her again.Im waaayyy over her for all that.She's just a friend now...kinda.We hooked up twice...i guess its fine because we both have boyfriends and its a "no-strings-attached" sorta thing.Ya know? Im all chilled about it...I mean,we both have admitted to one another that we HAVE and probably will always have this "thing" for each other.

But im fearing,that one of us MIGHT get attached. One of us MIGHT get our feelings involved.
Now why do i think that its gona be me?
Thats why,tonight,im gona call her and finish it.I mean,cant we just be friends?Plain friends? WHY DO I HAVE THIS EVER LONG ATTRACTION TOWARDS HER?!
Im so gona put a stop to this. I am not letting this reach a stage where it once reached in the very recent past.
This time around,im gona stop it.
I have to remember how much i hate her and what all she did to me.What better place other than Oasis to remind me of all that? Ive written about all my hatred towards her.Im just gona read that,get encouraged and call her.

[ She is BLOODY hot!]
[ I gave her an orgasm =D ]
[ And we had Oral sex =D ]

Buhaahahaha! I did what i had to do. Now I need to stop being unfaithful to P [Note : my new boyfriend].
That reminds me,he's hot too =D
<3