When are you officially "Out"?
At what point are you out of the closet? I am out to my mom, my brother and all my friends, but at the same time my dad and his wife who are like my 2nd family don't know although they definately suspect. Somehow I haven't been able to have the balls to tell them even though I have no problem telling anyone else. so I guess my question is: am i out or not?
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Friends then Family
Well my close friends were the first to find out.. Then I went on and broke the silence with my Mom..
I'm out to my Mom (The most, because the very first time I mentioned it she accepted me.. And she kept it a secret. Thats the one thing i'm most greatfull of. Having a mother who accepts me no matter who I choose to be.. And I know Mothers.. Or parents like that are hard to find), kinda Dad. Sister's to young to understand. Tryed talking to Grandparents, they HATE the topic so they always change it.. So they are still kinda clueless.. Greatgrandma.. Hmm.. She took it as I was telling her something else, since she's old I just let it go. Aunty, I told her oneday, she said she'd always love me no matter what.. But she'd like me to take a serious thought about this. Friends? Most of them that I trust and people that I know like my friends friends who I just make and are gay or bi too.. I tend to be out to people if I get the comterable vibe. If not I just keep it on the down low.
love her purely or don't love her at all
I'd say you're 'officially'
I'd say you're 'officially' out when you no longer care who knows.
Yeah...
When you're starting to tell people and such, that is still the "Coming out." Once you don't care who knows, then you're done.
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according to this definition
according to this definition I am officially out. Yippy!!!
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there's no one definition.
there's no one definition. definitions are lame.
Be yourself. 'Cause if you're busy being somebody else, who's gonna be you?
Thanx
Thanx
I agree with Loltaire. She
I agree with Loltaire. She actually took the words straight out of my mouth. When people start figuring it out, or you start telling them, and you are no longer keeping it from anyone, then you are out.
There are levels of outness
I mean, there's the deciding to recognize your queerness, deciding it would be OK if another person knew about it, the hazy phase in between where some people know and some people don't, and then the point where you feel completely comfortable with it and everyone knows.
No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless; there is too much work to do.--Dorothy Day
I like how the mouse that
I like how the mouse that roared summed that up.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent-Eleanor Roosevelt
hmmm...
Outness is an interesting concept. I closely agree with the mouse that roared! :) When you come out to yourself is really the beginning. However, I don't know about everyone else here, but I end up coming out everyday in some way, whether I say it with words or not. So I don't know if there really is such a thing as "officially out". Its levels. Its outness to the people you see everyday, its outness to the acquaintances you have, then its outness in your everyday life. It's all the times you don't hide or hesitate to share your true self with people.
Then I get to agreeing with the first "definition"... you're officially out when you don't care who knows or "finds out". When you openly and with ease talk about your personal life as a matter of fact, same as anyone else does.
Then again, I wouldn't label it as official, cuz that sounds too serious and there's A LOT of people who are not at that point in their lives and I don't want to stress them out! I would say that's the outness goal. There's nothing like not caring who knows and just being honestly who you are each day.
So it seems as though I am going in circles, but I do have a point! There is no official outness. There is however, that goal to reach.
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Out there!
I think you are on the right track! I'm in the process of commingout so I probaly not the expert on it but I'll give you mine opinion. do what ever you feel. How does this make you feel that your dad dosent know? Do you feel like you are hinding something? if you answered yes to the last one, I dont think your offically out. I think an elephant will be lifted from your shoulders after you come out to your dad.
Good luck!!!